By Ruth Eckles
There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama & the people who create it and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too short to be anything but happy. (Facebook status update)
This is a little circulating status update that is getting mucho approval and kudos…and I’m kind of like…Really? Seriously? I’m obviously in the minority on this one, because it’s royally getting on my nerves. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I understand the main point of it–avoiding seriously toxic people, and surrounding yourself with folks who bring out the best in you, are supportive, and make you laugh. I’m down with that. I get that. Hey, I don’t want to hang around with the Jerry Springer crowd either! I have no patience for that sort of horse shit. If that’s basically all this phrase means, than I’m okay with that.
But the part about focusing solely on the good? And life being too short to be anything but happy seems a bit extreme to me.
Life is too short to be anything but real. And it’s gonna be real whether you like it or not. The truth is, life aint always happy. Terrible things happen. People lose their minds sometimes, they go through hard times, they go through times where it feels next to impossible to be positive and laugh. Should we just dump them all? Is that what Jesus or Buddha would do? Have them all walk the plank to be eaten by sharks?
And how are you going to feel when you’re the one going through a tough time, feeling a dark cloud around you, having a hard time being positive…none of your good-time “friends” want to be around you because, well, you’re just not positive enough. In fact, you’re a big fat downer. Who are you going to want to turn to in these times? The person that chirps “Oh, just be positive!” in your face? Or the person who will take your hand, and ask you what’s going on and will listen and not run way? The person who will understand and not judge you?
Again, I realize this is a sore point for me, and I”m probably making too much out of it, and I get the main thrust of it…but you might want to think a little harder about banishing all darkness and dark people from your life because there’s treasures to be had in the dark as well as the light.
We’ve all got darkness in us, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. If you can handle the darkness in yourself with compassion, you’ll be able to be more compassionate with others in pain. And this is a quality that will help you be of more service to the world. I’m sure Mother Theresa didn’t just surround herself with positive people who made her laugh, and tell anyone that didn’t fit that bill to get lost. Because obviously there’s a lot of pain in the world, and a lot of people in pain in the world–how do you want to handle that? It’s something we’ve all got to figure out.
Personally, I don’t want to only surround myself exclusively with positive, happy, laughing people. I want to surround myself with balanced people. People who have a more whole, compassionate viewpoint. People I can go to in my happiest AND my darkest moments. But hey, I’ll give you this–if they can make me laugh during my darkest moments, I won’t deny that’s a really good thing. Hopefully they won’t turn tail and run though and be like “ewww Ruth is toxic and negative…must get away from her”. Because frankly, in my opinion, life is too short to surround myself with people who are scared to death of anything other than feel-good emotions. Life is too short to hang around with emotional chickens.