We would be much better served if we were told by mental health professionals from the very beginning to trust ourselves. Instead, the entire system is fraught with the infantilization of the client…this is true of both psychology and psychiatry.
Sometimes we absolutely need others…but the wrong other is often far worse than no one at all…re-traumatization often being the rule rather than the exception.
When we learn to trust ourselves then we know when and if we should proceed with a helping relationship.
In retrospect I always knew.
As I wrote in another short little post:
What therapists often like to call resistance, for me, proved to be highly accurate GPS…I now trust it completely.
We have internal guidance. Always.
The mental health professionals often don’t understand this fact either which is why most don’t teach it. I was one and I didn’t learn it from the others either. They too, in general, don’t know to trust themselves. That’s a bit sad and one can start to have compassion for everyone when that fact becomes clear. We’re all bumbling along together…sometimes not so gracefully.
The lovely secret about this is that if you come to trust yourself eventually, by the process of elimination, you start finding others that know how to trust themselves too. That includes professionals that can be trusted. As you trust yourself, you will recognize others that you in turn can trust.