Did I get enough love?

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By Elaine Mansfield — “As soon as you begin to ask the question, Who loves me?
You are completely screwed, Because the next question is How Much?” Tony Hoagland — And after that, Does he love me still? and Does he love me even though he’s dead? And then, When do I stop feeling married to a person who is no longer here? and Why do I feel lonely in a room full of people because he’s not smiling from across the room? … [click on title for the rest of the post]

Lessons the rejected shadow child learned in the Catholic church that she hated

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The vehicles (religions and mythologies) are always neutral. What people do in the name of these vehicles can sometimes be rather horrifying. For example in my Catholic upbringing I was told by a nun that anyone that wasn’t Catholic would be going to hell. Since it’s that sort of thinking that led to the Inquisition, that pretty much ended my early relationship to Catholicism. Still, I found something good in the hymns I share below and they have always stayed with me. They’ve stayed with the rejected shadow child too, because they were sung straight to her little alienated heart. … [click on title for the rest of the post]

Illuminate me: the rejected shadow child Part II

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This is my dark and lovely message

Hear me cry

Hear me cry

Hear me cry

Never stop hearing me cry … [click on title for the rest of the post]

Song of the rejected shadow child

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I am not worthy

I deserve nothing

I crave forgiveness

Please forgive me… … [click on title for the rest of the post]

How can I get to know myself?

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“How can I get to know myself? Not by thinking, for thinking only reflects my conscious being, but by meditating. Meditation goes beyond the conscious mind into the unconscious. In meditation I can become aware of the ground of my being in matter, in life, in human consciousness. I can experience my solidarity with the universe, with the remotest star in outer space and with the minutest particle in the atom. I can experience my solidarity with every living thing, with the earth with these flowers and coconut trees, with the birds and squirrels, with every human being. I can get beyond all these outer forms of things in time and space and discover the Ground from which they all spring. I can know (…) the Origin, the Source, beyond being and non-being, the One ‘without a second’. I can know the birth of all things from this Ground, their coming into being in the Word.” … [click on title for the rest of the post]

Managing a meltdown

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by Elaine Mansfield — My heart sank and my belly knotted. I felt like a helpless child. I scolded myself for making a catastrophe out of an inconvenience, but that made me more desperate. I felt lost and vulnerable, captured by what C.G. Jung called a psychological complex. Where was the calm woman who gives book readings and radio interviews? Where was the part of me that could face death without flinching? … [click on title to read and view more]

You are beautiful. Song of radical acceptance.

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I posted this video the first time in 2008. I just thought of the song today and watched the video again. It’s really a beautiful video challenging one to accept themselves just as they are. I find this to be a beautiful piece of artwork and a movement from the soul. I am grateful to have watched it again today. … [click on title for the rest of the post]

The life-liberating impact of feeling the feeling

Anterior cingulate cortex

By Georgi Y. Johnson — The moment we choose to feel a feeling, we have moved beyond thought and into direct experience. That is, we have moved out of the programing of the temporal, linear, left brain, which builds agenda through the composition of time frames and stories. Feeling what we feel does not take place yesterday, and will not take place tomorrow. It always happens in the now. Feeling is so much in the now, that even if the thoughts are in the future, the feeling will still be in the eternal now. Because of this, when we move from consciousness to awareness, or from mental awakening to sentient presence and begin to feel what “is”, old, unfelt feelings will emerge, even if decades have passed in the interim. — Contrary to popular belief, it is not possible to “think” away a feeling. We can check it rationally and we can relativize it. We can justify, excuse, build stories and rename it. But all of this thinking activity is dependent on the allowance of the feeling in the first place. We cannot know what the feeling is that we think we are “thinking away” (by changing our thought patterns) unless we first agree to feel it. … [click on title for the rest of the post]

Fear is contagious. You can catch it.

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“Fear is contagious. You can catch it. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to say that they’re scared for the fear to become real. Mo was terrified, and now Nick was too.” ― Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book — This is true fear is contagious. It’s something worth deeply contemplating. We need not fear, however, because one can also free oneself by recognizing what has happened. Then the contagion comes to an end. Observation is a form of illumination. Fear is a shadow energy and it cannot survive illumination. In other words Franklin D. Roosevelt was right. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. … [click on title for the rest of the post]

Cultivate stillness: stillness is our true nature

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“There is of course a reason for everything in nature. Your body tells you when you have moved out of harmony so you can adapt and find the most effortless way forward. But we were never intended to live out of harmony. We actually become addicted to stress and the hormones it releases inside us (adrenaline). It’s not that we enjoy it. No one enjoys stress – it’s deeply uncomfortable – but we do become addicted to it. When you only think with your mind, you are operating out of a mere fraction of your true potential. The ancient Chinese called this hexagram ‘Keeping Still’, and it is symbolised by a mountain. Its message is – there is no hurry. The fear that you will miss out comes from this Shadow – the fear that you haven’t got enough time. It’s all about time and our perception of time. When you are stressed, time is always running too fast, or too slow. Stress also has a passive manifestation – which is when we feel stuck. That feeling comes out of this 52nd Shadow. When you feel stuck, it’s because your breathing isn’t reaching down to your base. You can never really be stuck. You just aren’t accepting where your rhythm is.” … [click on title for the rest of the post]

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