Life, happening as we speak

My life is in a bit of a shambles. Today I go to house sit for a friend for a week and then I’m finding my own place. I can’t afford to move back to California but I need to live alone for a while.

On the other hand I might go to the psych drug withdrawal facility in CA just to finish off the withdrawal and then return. I’m friends with the director now. I need a safe, quiet, peaceful place to finish this withdrawal. Maybe I can find that here in a place of my own, but a program might be helpful. I’m going to call him today.

11 thoughts on “Life, happening as we speak

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  1. !!! Look what happens when I duck away from cyberspace for a couple of days 😉
    Honey you are in my prayers — just take it slow & follow your intuition…your body knows what is “right” for you.

  2. yes, indeed, we are all about contradiction us human beings!! And it can be a real bitch when certain contradictory feelings or beliefs pop up for us.

    The worst is when you don’t realize you’re feeling or thinking contradictory stuff and worse yet is when someone you care about doesn’t get it if you understand it but it doesn’t make sense to them.

    Girl, you left so many comments on my blog that I had to extend the recent comment box and it still didn’t capture all your comments!! You really did a marathon stint there!

  3. There are a couple of songs which I listen to most often when I’m in that frame of mind. “You Can Do It” and “Restless” and “Here From There” are all by Meg Christian. Another one is “Who Says You Can’t Go Home?” by Bon Jovi. Yet another is “You’re My Home” by Billy Joel.

    Although they may be contradictory, they each seem to fit where I may be when I’m feeling as you described. I tend to think that the word “contradictory” is more a scientific term than a “feeling” term, if you know what I mean. I truly believe that we can quite honestly feel more than one way about what is happening to/with us at any particular time.

    As always, I wish you all the best in your vision quest…

    Love… Sky

  4. As you’ve been reading I’m feeling truly bitter this week about everything but I’ve been reading Wherever you go there you are… and I keep on saying to myself “this is it.”

    Being content in the moment is so hard.

    Send positive energy your way.

  5. Awakening is really hard. I think that’s what has happened Gianna. You are gaining the benefit of clarity in the journey to remove the meds. Sometime, the clarity we receive in these spiritual awakenings drops us right into a situation that needs major adjustment. So, the awakening we all strive for, that being real, and feeling our emotions, and living a true life can in fact be the very thing, the very reason so many people don’t persue it further. It’s scary, frightening, full of change. But remember who you found in your heart again, was you. Taking the steps to remain true to yourself, is another new journey. Yes, you need time to yourself now. it’s part of the process, the med removal will seem easier than this part. Take the time to write private thoughts in journal, take walks and give yourself space. I have read something somewhere, that I applied to myself this last year: Can I live with this decision for 10 minutes? 10 days? 10 weeks? 10 months? By the 10 month mark, it was clear. I think it’s a good barometer for life issues. Be well.

  6. I am in a similar situation but I keep thinking “frying pans and fires”.

    I hate where I live – it’s an isolated and lonely, rural backwater. I yearn for my childhood home.

    But my loved ones are here, and maybe it’s a case, as ever, of the grass seeming greener.

    Either way, the home I knew from my youth will never be there should I ever return. All that I have left are memories, and selective ones at that.

    It sound like you already have the safe quiet and peaceful place you need for recovery. Why risk jeopardising that?

    My mistake, and perhaps yours too, is to look to a past era in my life comparing it with now. I recall being happier back then, so my faulty logic tells me that I should return to it. I don’t think that ever works. That was then, this is now.

    Perhaps I’m sticking my neck out here, but I would postpone any radical decisions until I was levelled out. Why not see how you get on with the house-sitting? Let it be a trial run perhaps?

    And without wishing to sound patronising, but doesn’t your man deserve to have some input in this? Doubtless you mean everything to him. Don’t forget him!

    If I’ve said too much and you need to tell me to fuck right off, I understand!

    Whatever you choose, people do care, me included!


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