To be or not to be: professional or consumer?

Dear Gianna,
As your dear friend (using disguised name), a prominent health care practitioner in my community, and a sufferer of a physical ailment that is not yet understood and frequently perceived by the medical and lay communities as a psychiatric disorder, I am fully supportive of being in the closet. Speaking about my personal perspective only, I do not throw pearls before swine….In other words, I tell only my trusted friends what I am going through, as it is nobody else’s business. Sometimes I may even tell an aquaintance, if I see that their is some level of understanding, trust and compassion. Ever hear the phrase “Too much information!” This is an era of extremely open communication due to internet, blogs, texts, etc. Prior generations were extremely secretive–we probably all have heard of of family members who don’t even tell their close family that they have a serious medical disease, and of people who martyr themself in silent suffering of marital woes or what have you. Today however, I witness people who I think are innapropriately open. One of them, another good friend, has witnessed this tendency in herself via the teachings of a 12 step program. She tells me that just because some piece of information is not “forbidden” to share, she is learning about the “appropriateness” of sharing (i.e. the level of learning, empathy and positive outcome that could be attained by sharing). I think there ia a middle ground of communicating about personal issues that can be achieved. I find that, no one needs to know my business if that info may potentially harm my reputation at no serious betterment of humankind.

Love u! –Camile

Froscha, without knowing him at all, your friend sounds like he exactly fits the category of those who enter professionalism because of their own unresolved issues, that they’re not even aware of. This seems to me the most plausible explanation why he’s so reluctant to talk about anything along the lines in private terms, where he can’t make the matter an object of his studies/professional observation, thus keeping it at arm’s length, and where he can’t make you his “client” (object of study), but has to see and treat you as an equal human being, and risks, that you treat him the same, not as irreproachably superior to you. Being guarded and coolly cynical usually serves as a (unconscious) defense mechanism when someone really is terrified. But in the end, all discrimination always is a result of fear, and a defense mechanism. Cool cynicism as well as pity really are signs of very uncool fear and insecurity. But, as mentioned, I don’t know your friend, so it’s just my own – somewhat categorizing and judgemental – impression.

In general, that’s maybe why it can be even more tricky to be open about having been/being a consumer/survivor when you’re working inside the conventional mh system than anywhere else. You can’t be “on their side” at the same time as you are one of those, who the system tries to keep at arm’s length. It borders to high treason in what actually often is a bit of a war (against “the mentally ill”).

Gianna: a lot of people think, it’s rubbish, I don’t: you can do whatever you want to do!

I think about this too. Started in mental health (working) without telling about my dx (had been burned on previous interviews for it by naively answering honestly the question about why I wanted to work in the field). After getting first job, disclosed, and it made people uncomfy. I lost credibility is some people’s eyes. A lot.

But I was out, no taking it back. Then, when a peer support position came available at the agency where I was working, I took it–figured the damage had already been done, was already out–though I did think long and hard about whether it was good idea to have a peer position on my resume forever more.

Now I’m HUGELY visible in the PA mental health world as an identified consumer, after leaving the peer support position and going to work for a consumer-run org at a statewide level, still involved with peer support but in a different (not direct “care”) role. Sometimes it’s scary. Each new step in my mental health career leads me to more visibility, and I sometimes think “God, what have I done?” Not sure how possible it even is for me to convert to purely “professional” anymore in PA, at least not in the public mental health system–still a chance for private, if I can somehow explain the resume…

Anyway at this point I feel like it’s probably too far gone to even worry about anymore. PsyD programs still tug at my imagination and maybe someday I’ll want it enough to do it–if so, then the temptation to not disclose and maybe pack up and move to a different state will have some appeal. I’d like to believe that option is still open, but am not really sure whether it will be. So for now I just continue in the peer support world and hope for the best.

My husband (works in IT world) also has a dx and doesn’t generally disclose. It’s strange, the dissodance in how far “out” we are. Sometimes I’m envious.

I think a phrase that come to mind – people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones – shows a certain light on the people that discriminate against mental illness.

I thought I had posted, but I guess I have not.

I would not tell until you have been in the field 5 years….and a success…at that point I would start a non-profit recover center.

You will have earned respect…and maybe even get referrals.

Also in regard to Jim S. and AA and alcoholism. For some reason recovering alcoholics are accepted…even preferred in the substance abuse field.

But it does NOT transfer over to the other branches of mental health services.

hi,Gianna,

I read through your post and many of the replies. I come from a different background, and therefore a different perspective, than many of the people who replied, as I’m not in the profession, and I’ve never gotten a “mental illness” diagnosis. So my angle may be unique -whether that makes it useless or insightful, I have no idea.

I”ll start with my conclusion – I think it’s best for you to do whatever is best for you and your clients. You’ve probably already thought the same thing, but may forget it from time to time as you wrestle with the complexities involved. Being open generally feels best, as authenticity always works better than its alternative, but I can see how others who you work with have their assessment of you altered when they get that info. My first thought is that perhaps their reaction and perception may come not from a “superior bias”, but from the fact that they simply have no reference point of empathy.

If someone is known to be blind, everyone can close their eyes and feel exactly what it’s like to be blind. If someone suffers severe chronic back pain, most everyone has known severe pain at least briefly, and can understand what it must feel like. But someone who has never experienced what we dreadfully label “mental illness” simply has no way to empathize, no way to understand. To them, you are first and foremost, a mystery. An unknown. They have no idea what it is like to feel what you have felt. Anyone can imagine what it must be like to be deaf. Who can possibly imagine what it is like to be, say, schizophrenic, or psychotic? Or bipolar? Or whatever?

Their first reaction is “I don’t understand” If their second reaction is to be dismissive of your intelligence or perspective, then they are simply idiots, and there is no reasoning with idiots.

But we often have to deal with idiots in our day-to-day interactions. My first thought is to view them with the same non-understanding that they view you with. You’re not an idiot, and cannot possibly understand what it must be like to be an idiot. Treat them with sympathy. It must be a terrible plight. 😎

I realize there is a whole other issue here – that idiots should not be allowed to play with sharp objects – or play with administering powerful psychotropic drugs of which they have no real understanding. But they’re allowed to, and you’re in a position in which you have to work with them. My thought is to see them as part-idiot, and part-intelligent professional. Demonstrate to them that you are at least if not more than, as professional and intelligent as them, and once that is established, perhaps when they learn of your experience, which they lack, and which may give you greater insight into what you are both trying to treat, they may begin to accept that there is a large reservoir of inexperience and ignorance in them. Acceptance is always the first step. If one can accept that they lack knowledge, there’s hope that they can evolve from idiocy into humble wisdom. If they can, you’ve got a good partner. If they can’t, try to find the ones who can, and spend lots more time with them.

Hope there was something useful in there.
best,
alex

P.S.: People like Rufus May, or Gianna!

Some more thoughts from me, too – First of all: “uncool assholes”, thanks! That was actually what I meant, when I wrote “oppressors”…

One of the first things my therapist did after I’d expressed my “insight”, was to warn me against telling people. Not that much because of “uncool asshole-discrimination”, but because people might react with pity, and, as she said: “Pity is the least you need.” I didn’t quite get it, before I experienced it. It maybe is even worse than open discrimination. Extremely disempowering. And in my world just another form of discrimination. One that allows the discriminator to feel good about themselves, as they haven’t acted openly as uncool assholes, have they?…

Although I was rather anxious what his reaction would be like – I mean, how do you explain this kind of thing to a vet and horse breeder??? -I told my boss at that time, because I knew, I had acted “strange”, also towards him, and needed somehow to clarify why, as I had the impression, he thought it maybe was his fault. Right on. The conversation we had, was one of the best I’ve ever had with anyone about this. But: he had known me for almost three years at that point, and he highly appreciated my skills and performance.

For similar reasons, because I was afraid of what might happen if I got into a crisis-situation again, and no one knew what was going on, and because I felt she could handle it, I told my current boss. This also turned out to be a wise decision. Not because the situation would have arisen, but because I feel a lot more safe and secure, knowing, that she knows about how I’d like her to handle a possible crisis-situation.

I made a mistake in my private life once. That was when I experienced the pity-kind-of-discrimination. Cyberspace and activism is another story…

BTW, and concerning Martha’s comment above: When I hear people tell about their therapists, I sometimes wonder what it could be, that “went wrong” during my therapists training, that caused her to become as competent as she is. I think, it might have got something to do with her being severely physically disabled.

I’m not going to read the other comments until I post mine, for fear of being influenced. 🙂

I have another blogging friend who is a highly-respected trauma therapist and psychiatrist on the staff of a highly-regarded facility. She is also bipolar, but her colleagues do not know this.

I actually think it isn’t necessarily appropriate for someone in the mental health field to be open about his or her own diagnosis, if you are interested in working in the field in any conventional way. There are a couple of reasons why I think so, but I’m going to mention the most important one.

People deal with psychological and emotional struggles on a vast spectrum of responsibility and competence. Knowing you as I do from your blog, I have no doubt whatsoever that you would appropriately own and contain your own “stuff” while working with clients in your field. I believe that you operate from the highest possible levels of ethics and intelligence.

But I know you pretty well from your writing. A stranger won’t know you, and will not necessarily have the opportunity to immediately understand who you are. There are plenty of people in the mental health field who shouldn’t be practicing because of their own problems … they use their clients to work out their own crap, and it’s hugely inappropriate.

I know you’re not like that. But I know you. Ya know?

So.

I do think there is a place for being professional and disclosing your own history, but that it is not a conventional place in the mental health field — I think that wielding those weapons of professional expertise and personal experience would be far more useful in a deconstructionist role — in speaking, giving seminars and support groups for people who want to undiagnose, for joining the anti-meds crusade, all of those more marginalized roles … and I don’t mean “marginalized” in a pejorative sense; I’m an iconoclast myself, and know the value of it.

I think there are valid reasons to go back in the closet. And I also think there’s a back door in that closet that leads out into a different neighborhood.

Personally, I’ve worked in the mental health and/or social work fields for the majority of my adult life. I was finally diagnosed as being Bipolar when I was 33 and I think properly so. Although I disagree with a lot of conclusions that folks jump to when they hear that diagnosis, so many of the classical symptoms fit me that it’s just easier to say that I’m bipolar.

Therefore, the majority of my life was spent undiagnosed as I’m now 50 years wonderful. I’ve never been shy about stating my opinions and, although I’ve always been respected both for my mind and my excellent work, it hasn’t always made me the most popular employee and/or co-worker. However, I’ve rarely had serious interpersonal work relationship difficulties either.

When I first moved to NC almost eleven years ago, I spent three or four years doing a lot of work “within the system” as a consumer advocate in several different ways with various groups and agencies. I worked very hard on the supposed “reform” of the NC mental health system which I can now see was a complete and total waste of my time, energy and talents.

So, before you read my opinions on this topic, please take all that into consideration (e.g., I may not be the best person you could ask 😉

I’ve given up on even attempting to work within or with our mental health system as it stands now. I think that the only reasonably sane thing to do is to create and/or join nontraditional organizations. That usually means, at this point anyway, the positions are either all-volunteer or have extremely low pay rates simply because the vast majority of new enterprises cannot afford to do anything else. Also, most of these organizations refuse to be associated in any way with Big Pharma or governmental agencies and do not want the strings which are required by most other large granting organizations. Therefore, unless something changes drastically, I don’t see these organizations as becoming “financially viable” in the foreseeable future.

That is definitely NOT to say, however, that I think they are not worth working for and with…I just don’t Expect to be paid at all–let alone paid well.

As far as how you make the decisions about whether to “come out” about your diagnosis and/or your professional qualifications, I’m afraid that I can’t answer those questions for you because they are SO Not An Issue with me. See, I’ve had this lifelong difficulty in remembering lies/untruths themselves, who I’m supposed to tell them to, why I’m doing it, etc.

So I’ve learned simply not to bother with lying about myself at all–not that I was ever very into it anyway. That’s not me being brave or wise or noble or even really making a decision about it as much as that’s just the way I’m “built” so to speak. Whenever I’ve tried to function in any other way, it’s always failed sooner or later and left me with an even bigger mess to clean up than I ever could have possibly had originally if I told the truth instead. Thus, I do try VERY hard not to abuse myself in that way 😉

I wish I could offer some profound insight into human nature that would help you make your decision. The closest that I can come, at this moment anyway, is to ask that you remember that old saying: “Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.” Perhaps if you apply that to the probable attitudes of strangers, it might help you see your way more clearly.

If nothing else, being “out” about myself in every way (bipolar, bisexual, pagan, a solitary witch, spirit healer, still married after 22 years of separation, my refusal to shut my mouth about anything important to me, one kid who won’t talk with me, overweight, refuse to believe in The Beauty Myth or play stupid social games, activist and community organizer, a lousy but devoted singer, etc.) saves me a LOT of time, energy and heartache by automatically “screening” potential friends, colleagues, lovers–even entire agencies–for me quickly and efficiently!!!

In closing, I love and respect you, honey. I am certain that whatever decisions you make will be The Right Ones For You. And remember, if they turn out wrong, you can always say “Screw it!” and do what your heart tells you to do and damn the consequences. Hell, -I- am still alive, so I figure it probably won’t kill ya 😉

Love Always… Sky

Inside the system with my daughter and navigating mental health court behind doctor’s backs and gaining freedom for my daughter–I never talked about myself at all. My workplace doesn’t know either. I was once called “apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” at a meeting re: my daughter and it was that day I understood the true meaning of being judged without merit or reason.

Follow your gut instinct is all I can say to do, and then follow that up with WALK WHERE OTHERS HAVE DARED NOT TO…..

Man did this topic ever press a hot button for me! I guess I am in the minority here. I have always kept very quiet about my mental health issues except with a very few people. Any exceptions to that rule have been painful reminders as to why I adopted the low profile that I attribute my employment and financial stability to.

In fact, within the past six months, one of my dearest, oldest, most beloved friends, in the act of defending my low energy in an internet quilting group divulged that I was feeling lousy and “switching meds”. The group basically broke up over whether or not I should be allowed to participate anymore. And nobody except for my dear friend ever answered another email from me, or acknowledged my contributions to the online chatter.

After being in block exchanges and quilting round robins with the group for five years, the experience was hurtful (but not a threat to my lifestyle or livelihood it might be if my mental health status got out in the small world of tech writers that I “have issues”. ) And I wouldn’t have described these women as uncool assholes at all.

About work: I am not in the mental health field, but I am a professional. I do not EVER, EVER tell anybody (at work or in my quilt guild or church or my neighborhood) ANYTHING about my psychiatric history, my drugs, my therapist…I have been personally burned by divulging stuff like that to anybody but very close, trusted people.

Maybe it is my own (admittedly vast) insecurity, not the reactions of other people, but my history is not information that I want spread around. And the more folks who know it, the more likely I will be to be discriminated against without recourse – especially in the workplace. At age 57, I am not picking up and moving to another state to start over because I need a fresh start.

Would that it were different, but mental illness is stigmatized. As Bruce put it, there are way too many uncool assholes in the world and they are not all mental health professionals. Since it is not my goal to become an activist, but rather to recover and move on, there is no advantage and many disadvantages to exposing myself.

Also, hell will freeze over before I will accept/identify myself as disabled. I’m not. I am as productive as the next person despite my lifelong depression and anxiety (for which I have been hospitalized, albeit not for 38 years).

But Gianna, you are in a very different position than I am. You are a trained mental health professional – so your say would count for more among a certain audience than mine would anyway. I also feel that I am myself without making the label/disability/weakness/illness a topic.

For the people around me, what they see is what they get. I do not lie, or dissemble, but i do not share these very personal facts about myself lightly or publicly at all…I observer very carefully (it’s probably a symptom of something) in social settings like the UU meeting that I attend. There are subtle and not-so-subtle ways in which those who are not identified as having mental health issues discriminate/separate themselves from those who are so identified. In the loveliest possible way. Just somehow the important committees, the interesting small groups just don’t work out for anybody too far from the norm. Again, it’s all so polite, respectful and chilling.

Now I’m nervous that my email address contains my name!

thanks for all that information…I actually am aware of all those things about how social services agencies work….I’ve worked for several…I was offered a job once at an ILP because if my diagnosis but ended up taking a job where my diagnosis was not known and my pay was double…this is a personal thing…I’m hoping to create a niche where I can be myself….and that may mean starting my own non-profit with other like-minded souls or something…

I’m not sure yet…this thread has been wonderful in getting me thinking and I appreciate everyone’s input.

I know I CAN’T go back into a medical model oriented social service agency….but I’ve heard there is one nearby here that is not…and so I wonder about working there sometimes, but I need to learn more about it and at this point I imagine I need to poke around in a somewhat incognito fashion.

This is all about processing how I understand myself and how I will present myself in the future…and that part is a bit premature…

My fantasy?? A book complete with speaking engagements!!

Hi Giannakali,

Lots of great ideas here and every one with a “label” faces this issue although the psych labels are definitely more stigmatizing and yet they can be hidden better than say having to use a wheelchair. I’d have to say there are few employment settings where any disability is an asset unless employers are looking to fill their diversity quota. But there are jobs where having a “label” is an asset such as state vocational rehabilitation agencies and Independent Living Centers. At state vocational agencies one would most likely need a Masters in Rehabilitation. Consumer “professional” are the best of both worlds in these settings. They provide counseling to their clients, although at an ILC it is not necessarily deemed “professional” counseling but peer counseling. This is not to say some ILC’S wouldn’t hire a professional counselor and allow them to do professional counseling. Some ILC’S have BOTH professional counseling services and peer. If one got their Master’s from the Boston Psych program mentioned above they would have the best training and respect as a consumer/professional. I would never recommend telling any typical employer in an interview any label. In fact if one rolls into a fire station by WC and apply to be a fireman/person they would only be allowed to ask a question related to job duties. For example how would you be able to fulfill the job duties of climbing a fire ladder and carrying folks out a window. I think disclosure has to be after people know and value you as a person and as a competent professional.

In terms of the outrage one feels in having to hide part of who they are to reduce stigma-it’s very upsetting and anger producing to say the least! Especially when one has so much to offer and would be an enormous asset to a MH employer and other consumers. I guess I would ask someone where they feel the most passion-in being considered an unlabeled professional or in being out and able to talk freely about both sides. We already know the mental heath field is full of people who have been really wounded one time or another-in fact they often make the very best counselors. Because out of strife comes growth.

But if possible, if you want to get more edu maybe look into considering a voc rehab program concentrating in psych rehab.

Otherwise consider the fact that you are helping many closet professionals and consumer’s alike with your blog. I don’t know what it takes to get money from your blog but I do know you won’t be taking on the drug pharm as advertisers.

And if you wish to be hired by a MH agency I would suggest being discreet. The other thing is the health insurance issues. Employers shudder at certain words like cancer or fill in the blanks. Let’s hope Obama can help correct the insurance/health care mess!

Blessings,

Carol

Actually, I’ve sometimes hidden the fact that I am a clinical psychologist. I am not kidding. Although it would be worse if I were a psychiatrist, but many people don’t know the difference.

I have always assumed that most people with good souls and brains in their heads — that doesn’t include the majority of mental health professionals — assume that most shrink professionals are screwed up — guilty until proven innocent (I actually sort of feel that way).

I still cringe when people ask what I do, and now that I’ve written a few books, it’s easier for me to just say I am a writer. In 1994, David Oaks gave me “permission” to call myself a “dissident psychologist,” however, in the company of down-to-earth folks that can sound kind of pompous.

As to advice for someone who is dealing with bigotry for once being diagnosed with a mental illness, I agree with others who have commented that it is very situational as to what makes sense to do.

In the world of the the insecure, uncool, control-freak assholes, it certainly scores me more points to say that I am a psychologist, and for people who have been labeled with mental illness to keep that to themselves if they want to have any credibility. So, I suppose the answer is to stay away, as much as possible, from the world of uncool assholes.

Bruce

My two cents worth on it is that you have to take care of you before you worry about anyone or anything else. You can’t help anyone at all if you don’t do that. So what takes care of you best? If the stress of continually being discredited because of being a consumer as well as a professional is more than you can handle, then I’d say get/stay in the closet. You can work there to reduce stigma until a time where you can get out of the closet without wearing yourself down so much and hurting yourself. In the end, Gianna, we can do what we can do and no more, and I keep finding for myself, as for many others, that pushing myself too far too fast does more harm than good.

wow! I’m completely overwhelmed by all these deeply thoughtful responses.

I’ve just woken up to all of them and I’m usually not very functional for several hours after I awake—the night time Klonopin seems to make me sick until it wears off later in the day….

In any case…thank you sooo much. And please keep on discussing this for all of us…

I’m very grateful for all you wonderfully intelligent and thoughtful readers.

oh…just a quick note to underline how difficult this is for people. I got several emails from people who wished to remain private…again underscoring how scary this issue is for people even when they can choose anonymous names.

As I mentioned in my last post…that too, is why we don’t hear more recovery stories in general…it’s dangerous out there to admit to a psychiatric history.

I don’t really have the energy for a very eloquent post (tapering currently!), but I just want to thank everyone for sharing their experiences. This is a really important discussion.

Not being a professional, or even wanting to be at this point, I don’t have much personal to offer on the topic, although I relate very much to being stigmatized and not taken seriously because of mental illness.

The weird thing is, is that y’all are the ones with the most to give, the ones with the most real, authentic potential to reach and heal people in the compassionate way they need to be healed in order to move forward. It’s you. It’s us. It’s not them.

Yet they are the ones (seemingly) who have the resources and power, and they stand in judgement of us. That’s just crazy. They don’t have what it takes for real change, in my opinion, at least not without our help. On some level maybe they even know that and are threatened by you/us.

Now I hear myself talking in “us” and “them” terms, and that is probably not a good thing.

I’m having a hard time expressing myself at this moment. But this is the stuff of revolution here. I feel very moved by the discussion.

It seems so unjust, so wrong, that such deeply intelligent, wise people, people much, much wiser than the mainstream “experts” who have no personal experience with this stuff, are not being taken seriously. It’s wrong because we need you…the “experts” need you and your perspective and knowledge badly (and they don’t even know it).

That’s all I’m trying to say.

Gianna – I don’t work in the mental health field, and it’s so discouraging to hear about the stigma that prevails there as well. Marian’s comment about the psychiatry profession as an institution not set up to recognize recovery, only to silence the “labeled” is worse still – though on an individual level I’ve worked with psychiatrists who had a lot invested in helping me get better. Perhaps better, though, means always under care, never quite able to do without it, never recovered. That’s a powerful point. It reminds me of Dowdy’s post a while back about his hearing from his pdoc that bipolar was a lifetime diagnosis – he would never be free of it, no matter how fully recovered he might appear to be.

As to your question about going back in the closet to practice your profession – I’m trying to answer a similar question for myself. The context is different, but I’m starting a blog and training site in my own professional field and have to decide whether to use my name freely and stop being an anonymous blogger on depression. I’ve been wanting to do that for a while – I’m just uncomfortable not being open about what I do and who I am. I’ve already left enough indications elsewhere on the web that anyone interested could put two and two together. But then I started thinking about someone going to my training site and checking me out on google and having a look at Storied Mind. I know many individuals who wouldn’t care or would even be interested in that side of my life. But many would stop right there – especially officials in public agencies. As disgusting as it is to acknowledge, I might be undermining my new business before it gets started. What you and Erin describe is exactly what I’m worried about – professional stigma is there in every field. Mental illness, impaired performance, instability etc are a few of the labels people start to see in looking at me. They can be completely sympathetic personally, but they don’t want to take a chance or they just have an underlying prejudice – oh, you know all this better than I do!

I would want you, as I want myself, to stand out there in the full truth of who we are and the idiots be damned. But we know realistically there is a cost we’ll pay for that honesty. So I’m trying to figure out what that cost would be and whether that is more important than – being me! Melinda Taylor (if that is her real name) at Melindaville appears to be right out there and also to practice in the mental health field. I think if we’re going to open about being consumers, we should probably flaunt our experience as doubling our value. I’m not going to be able to live with the stress of being outed – I’ve come too far to worry about that.

As you can see, I’m going around in circles on this. I’ll let you know when I stop moving and just where it is that I’ve landed. And remember I wouldn’t think ill of you no matter what choice you made. You’re a great blogger who has helped me get on a better path to recovery – and that’s the important thing. The crappy choice is forced upon you, and I’ll respect whatever you need to do to make the best of it.

All the best to you,

John (at least that name is my own!)

P.S – Now that I read Marian’s comment –

“IMO, it is just another way of oppressing people, making them hide (part of) their past/present by using it against them as soon as they choose to be honest and disclose it. And I don’t feel too comfortable around oppressors.”

I’d just like to say – “Thank You” to Marian….

Duane

So far, I’ve put a lot of energy into constantly trying to be listened to and be taken seriously. Through my blogs and numerous comments on newspaper articles and stuff. The only people who do listen and take me seriously are those who share my viewpoints in advance… Well, and a couple of professionals (social worker/psychologist), who’ve let me know that they appreciate my efforts, and regard my blog a source of information “from the inside” that helps them understand. That alone maybe makes it worth while.

But when I look at the history of psychiatry – as the driving force and the defining power in the mental health system – it is a history of silencing people, not one of listening to them. And I wonder, if this ever can change. Actually, I doubt it. At the risk of – also – getting labelled “anti-psychiatry”, this institution has been established only and solely out of society’s need to do something about the disturbing presence of madness. It has been established to get rid of and silence madness. Not, as many want to have it, to help mad people. This still applies today as it did 250 years ago. And unfortunately, I don’t see a change coming but outside the system.

People like Rufus May or Ron Bassman are tolerated. While the system is gnashing its teeth at them being around. And for each tiny victory they achieve in favour of their clients, there are at least ten great big atrocities introduced to oppose them. Nevertheless, “to redeem one person is to redeem the world”. So, their efforts certainly are worth while, if it’s only that they are a support to those, who already share their views.

Personally, I wouldn’t be able to work inside this system. I would simply not be able to witness people’s lives getting destroyed, and, if not keep my (big) mouth shut, at least have to weigh every word I say. Instead, I would try to create and/or support alternatives outside of the system. Just as I lately have come to the conclusion, that constantly taking on the system won’t change much, and it maybe is a better idea to put some effort into presenting alternatives (doing a thorough presentation of Soteria and Loren Mosher for my Danish blog was actually quite a rewarding experience). – But this is a personal problem I still have, some unresolved issues with trauma and triggers.

There’s no doubt, that you have a far greater chance to get listened to and be taken seriously only as a professional. But I also see your husbands point, which corresponds to my own view, that we will never get anyone to listen to us as consumers/ex-consumers/survivors as long as we stay in the closet with this part of our identity. It won’t change the public’s perception of us. In addition, I myself feel a strong dislike of both situations where I can’t be who I am, and people who don’t accept me as who I am. IMO, it is just another way of oppressing people, making them hide (part of) their past/present by using it against them as soon as they choose to be honest and disclose it. And I don’t feel too comfortable around oppressors.

Gianna,

It SHOULD not make a difference. But it does. I have lost a number of jobs for being an out-front Pagan, even some that hired me KNOWING that fact. I am currently supposed to be signed up for a class on Peer Support Tech, but everyone knows how I feel about drugs, and I have not heard back from them. The classes start in January, I should know soon whether I’m welcome or not.

Still, you can’t do anything without being true to yourself. I’d rather miss an opportunity than be scandalized later.

Hugs,
Moss

Gianna,

As I see it…..in its simplest terms, you’re in this dilemma for one reason –

The mental health field (at-large) does not believe in recovery…..

There are some exceptions….But, if there was a real knowledge and understanding of recovery, you would not be struggling with this….

Symptoms of the past would be seen and recognized as “symptoms of the past”….

Whether you decided to go into the closet, come out of the closet….stay in, or stay out….would be moot –

Who would care? You would be seen for who you are today….and, taken for who you are today….

….We have ave a long way to go, huh?

Duane