Mostly useless drivel on my youtube channel but D. Bunker made me think of sharing it. It shows a range of my experience from December through February. Frankly, videos take a lot of energy to make and I don’t usually have enough. The “happy” videos were grossly exhausting. I told Ana today, who was fooled by how chipper I seemed, that this is an invisible illness and I can look good if I take a shower, put on a bit of make-up and smile. No one knows a thing quite often.
Of course the last time I went to our health food buffet I curled up on the bench in a booth while Paul got our food. I didn’t care if I looked homeless taking a nap. At some point I just say fuck it and I’m glad I’m not in my house even if it means looking like a homeless person curled up on a bench.
Frankly, they’ve got to lie down somewhere too. There is no shame in being real.
I think we should sleep when we need to. People who make rules about such things don’t understand our bodies.
Ana…here’s the post you wanted:
http://bipolarblast.wordpress.com/2009/02/02/the-visit-to-my-md-and-essentially-getting-diagnosed-with-drug-damage/
I came to search for the post you went with a blanket to your psychiatrist.
I want to write about the ability psychiatrists should have to understand the way we feel.
I think they don’t.
I remember when I was out of Effexor and felt all withdrawal symptoms at a degree I have to put people at my house because I was scared.
I once told him that I was going to sleep and he said: “But it’s only 5 p.m.”
The way I was feeling sleeping was the only thing possible.
I’ll try to write the post. I’m exhausted.
New side effects caused by Effexor… yes I had to go back because living was impossible ans I guess I’m stressed.
Next thing you know you’ll be doing radio and tv! Just you wait….
yeah videos do take a lot of energy, i can’t keep on youtube anymore right now so well but i added you there and i saw one, and i am glad you are doing it when you can. go easy on yourself. that message was good for me too. i am in bed a lot of birthdays. i try to have healing visions and such to have a magical birthday anyways. last year a hawk came to me. then in waking reality i saw a hawk not too long ago fly over my head in the backyard. anyways, have you tried maca from peru? i had to skip it for a week…it works better to skip it one week a month. i get this Health Force kind “Maca Force” and it has other stuff in it too that is good. it helps people who are very weakened by chronic illness. it is good for a lot of things. but i think it helps a lot over time. it gives a little energy, builds strength. it is good for mood too. i still have to work on the caffiene thing but i cut down a lot. thanks for all the inspiration. much healing to you, love, nancy
Yes, and the prejudice against people with invisible illnesses is astounding and sad.
I’m so hoping that this treatment center will be just the thing you need!