Hating the enemy — extra quote of the day with commentary

I have one more comment to make and it is one that will explain why I tend to be somewhat compassionate towards most doctors.

Has anyone ever heard of Recovery, Inc? It is a self-help program based on the teachings of Dr. Abraham Low, who was a psychiatrist in the late 30’s through the late 50’s. He started out as a Freudian Psychiatrist, but soon grew disenchanted with the approach, asserting that psychoanalysis tended to make his patients sicker rather than better. At the time he was considered a maverick and was severely criticised by the mental health establishment. Dr Low wrote a book entitled “Mental Health Through Will Training” and, through time, support groups were formed that were based on the principles he endorsed, which were primarily a form of cognitive therapy. It is similar to AA in that there are weekly meetings and lots of “sayings”…like, for instance, “symptoms will rise and fall as long as we don’t attach danger to them” “A thought can produce a symptom, and a thought can take it away.” “Don’t look for a symptom..you’ll find it.”

It is a wonderful organization and there are meeting throughout the US and Europe.

Anyway, twenty years ago, when I was first battling insomnia, I found Dr Low’s book in the library and was delighted to find out there was a meeting in my area. I attended and became an enthusiastic participant and in a few years, became a leader of a group. Most of the people who attended my group had more serious problems than I did…bipolar, schizophrenia, etc. but I did not let that deter me. I counseled and advised and worked, with great sincerity, to help others.

Anyway, the point is, I became an amateur psychiatrist, of sorts. Recovery does not allow its members to discuss medication or religion during meetings because both subjects are too controversial, but…and I admit this with great shame…I became a “know it all”. I had experienced sadness, so I presumed to understand depression. I knew what it meant to be nervous, so anxiety was easy to figure out. The approach I used was correct in terms of Recovery principles, but, I lacked the “experience” of knowing what it means to be defined and treated as mentally ill.

I know now what a fool I was, but, in my own defense, I have to say that I was a well-intentioned fool. Yes, there was some ego-gratification in being an “authority”, but I also possessed a sincere desire to be of service. And, to be quite honest, I really did help many people because I never lost sight of their humanity and never saw them in terms of their paychiatric labels.

However, the fact remains, I did not “understand” mental illness at all until I fell into a deep depression (as a result of insomnia) last fall and was hospitalized and administered a number of medications, all of which had side effects. I have been humbled by this experience and am no longer as arrogant and presumptuous as I once was. Yet, I still must insist…I was not evil, I was just a dope.

BTW, I have a feeling that people who are drawn to this site will not be attracted to Recovery, Inc. unless it is to meet people who are battling the same battles we are. Why? One of the sayings is…”We must not self-diagnose. We must follow the authority of our own physicians.”

What a riot that would produce if some of the folks on this website were told that at a meeting!

On the other hand, I wish someone had contradicted me more frequently when I was a Recovery leader.

Oh well, thanks for listening to my “Mea Culpa!”

Gianna, This is what I wrote last night. If it’s too heavy I understand if you don’t want to post it.

If it’s any consolation, you gained a friend in me by what you said. Believe it or not, that “linked above” post was what made me take a longer look at your blog and realize that exploring what you’ve put out there is a worthwhile pursuit. Your insight into this issue shows a depth of understanding that is skirting the edge of—ahead of its time. Maybe we don’t realize how in-the-wilderness we are in piecing this stuff together. This is important, groundbreaking stuff. Some of which has never been gathered together in one place before.

Personal responsibility starts here. Building bridges. Picking up the pieces. Making sense of it all. It takes intelligence and humility to work with what you have.

We can’t let our work be pulled down by those who are lost in their own pain and still acting it out. Who are they to dish out painful criticism and treat you like a hostage to their ideas? Bottom line is: we can’t afford to discard out of hand the professionals that have training and a potential to acquire a broader understanding of mental illness away from the medical model. As hard as it is to admit, doctors do have an aptitude for retaining and processing information pertaining to medical treatment. You can’t get through all of that med. school without something going for you.

When I wrote my response in that thread, I deleted half of it. I toned it way down. I originally railed against anarchy, but then deemed it off topic. Without seeing the whole conversation I went out on a limb and guessed/defined what I think they’re espousing. Anarchy. It doesn’t work. It’s for undergraduates. It’s childish.

We have been living in a war zone, the war on drugs. We don’t have unfettered access to powerful substances that we can administer to ourselves. We’re stuck working with what we’ve got. (I’m sure I could benefit from a little opium now and then. I’d sleep fine.)

Mental illness is real. It’s not a game. It’s life or death. I’m not playing. I am in charge of my own healing. I want every option available to me. What part of freedom don’t they understand? They can’t see past the rage-fueled smoke blowing out of their own ears.