I’m oh so close…

I DO NOT RECOMMEND IV nutrient therapy for withdrawal. While they may not cause any harm they are most likely a waste of money. I do think that on occasion some people do find them helpful, but they did not help me at all and most people I know who’ve tried them felt the same. I wanted to make note of that.

For much more information on slow and safer withdrawal from all psych drugs visit the psych drug withdrawal page: Psychiatric drug withdrawal and protracted withdrawal syndrome round-up

this very old post was getting lots of hits for some reason…so I’m doing a small update here at the top since this post taken out of context with the rest of the blog is really outdated…this means it will show up in readers…unfortunately can’t avoid that. 

 

I’m down to 17 mg of Valium. That’s the equivalent of less than 1 mg of Klonopin. I did the crossover a while back. I was on 3 mg of Klonopin which was 60 mg of Valium so I’m over 2/3s of the way off the last and final drug I’m withdrawing from.

There are many tales of the end being the worst for many people. Especially when they were on a massive cocktail like mine. I’m not sure if it’s the worst in all ways. I’m in less physical pain, but I’m more physically disabled. I sleep now and there were many times I did not.

But I’m tired. And not just “chronic fatigue” tired, which is part of it, yes. So much a part that I’m pretty much bed bound most of the time and can’t be on my feet more than 10 minutes on a good day.

But the tired I’m speaking of is a profoundly deep tiredness in my soul. The endurance, persistence and stubbornness I’ve had to find is simply tapped out.

I started my IV nutrient therapy again. I started that when I went to detox and while they were incompetent idiots in many ways, the nutrient cocktail they put directly into my veins did seem to allow me to come off a whole bunch more drug than I would have otherwise.

The contents are simple:
Magnesium
Vitamin C
B vitamins (a bunch of them but B-6 and B-12 in higher doses)
Taurine

and finally at the end I get a Glutathione “push” directly into the vein as it cannot be mixed in the above cocktail because the Vitamin C renders in inert.

These are simple vitamins, minerals and amino acids. All natural. Also all stuff I also take by mouth and have for over a year. But in the vein one can take mega-doses and it’s all readily absorbed. It seems to seriously take the edge off, but as I say, it’s a bit early to be sure.

I’d done enough research to know it might help and I have a good friend who uses this method a lot with difficult people he works with when he helps them come off psychotropics so it seems promising.

As I just said I resumed the IV therapy on Monday. I got it for four days in a row and dropped another 3 mg of Valium with no obvious worsening of withdrawal symptoms. It’s premature to know, but if it really is helping as much as my brief history with it suggests it can I may be off this shit within the next 2 months rather than the next year.

Oh, dare I get hopeful again?? Hope springs eternal even after you’ve been humiliated again and again for being stupidly hopeful it seems.

Anyway, I will let you all know if this truly is an option to move things along as I’m thinking it may be. Then again, I may prove to once again be the fool. Also, it’s very expensive and simply not a viable alternative for too many people. I wouldn’t be doing it if I wasn’t languishing 5 years into withdrawing. But I can’t tolerate the suffering anymore and I have a mom willing to help me with the cost. The most I can do if I discover it does indeed help is launch some sort of campaign to make it available at low cost somewhere.

I’ve made a few interesting connections through my work so I dream big and do hope to be able to turn my experience around in some way to help those less fortunate than I am. To make alternatives available to those whose only means are SSI or less. That is still where a large part of my heart lies as I worked with those folks for many many years and have many friends and acquaintances who are still in those circumstances.

I called my neuropsychologists office yesterday. He is the one who go me started on this journey. I started neurofeedback with him and he was the first person who ever suggested I might live drug free. So I called to ask when our first appointment was because I got off the antidepressants very quickly once I started working with him and I want to know the exact date I started this journey. Because after the Zoloft I came off of one drug after another until now.

I’ve been saying “5 years ago” lately, but frankly I’m not sure exactly when I started.

Round up:

84 mg of Concerta (gone)

200 mg of Zoloft (gone)

400 mg of Lamictal (gone)

11 mg of Risperdal (gone)

50 mg of Seroquel (gone)

3 mg Klonopin crossover to 60 mg of Valium — I’m down to 17 mg of Valium

Once that is gone I will be DRUG FREE.

We’re looking at a matter of weeks (if the IV therapy is doing what I hope it’s doing) to perhaps another year, if I’m wrong.

In addition to that I still have to recover. My body is grossly deconditioned and it’s been suggested I am hypothyroid and heavy metal toxic. I’ve tested positive for both. The thing is there are so many ways these things are interpreted and so much controversy around how to treat these issues that I simply feel stumped and I’m putting those things on the back burner for now.

The point is, I’m not gonna be all better once the drugs are out. It will be a good while still. The only thing I will treat as soon as my results come back is my very obvious female hormonal issues. It’s unreal how messed up I get pre-menstrually. And so I will, at least temporarily, succumb to bio-identical supplementation with what will probably be some progesterone.

Once off the drugs and once I’m able to make it to appointments again I’ll switch over to my gynecological acupuncturist who I think can do this without my having to take hormones. I don’t like the idea of taking hormones. Even bio-identical ones. My fear is it’s all hype, though I do think they may relieve some of my issues in the short term, adding hormones to the body smacks too much of pharmacology to me. And without clinical trials I remain skeptical to the safety of it even though in alternative circles it’s all the hype.

Finally I want to add to this post. I know I’m tired and I sound tired. But I have dreams. Big dreams to make this a different journey for people in the future, that no one need ever go through what I have gone through. My spirit, though tired, is alive and well.

For much more information on slow and safer withdrawal from all psych drugs visit the psych drug withdrawal page: Psychiatric drug withdrawal and protracted withdrawal syndrome round-up