A woman’s journey through madness and mysticism

I’m posting this just to call attention to a blog I found that many of  you, my readers, will find interesting. I found it beautiful and compelling too, I’m sharing this particular post as it is distinctly appropriate for Beyond Meds, but the whole blog is worth exploring. UPDATE: Here is another post I shared later today.

Part One: My Journey Through Madness & Mysticism

This blog is part one of my series, Holy Irreverence: Exploring the Dark Side of the Sacred (see important overview and framing for the series by clicking on the linked title).

I wanted to start by feeling into the subject of madness and it’s intimate connection to mystery and mysticism as it has shown up in my own life.

I choose this topic to begin the series because I myself was conceived in a womb of madness, and madness was the mother that nursed and raised me into this world. Thus, it seemed like the most appropriate starting point…

Before I knew how to speak; before I even had a concept of myself, I was shaped by the gaze of a mother struggling with the unpredictable currents of mystical opening and mind-numbing psychosis….

…Once I was admitted to the psychiatric ward, I started to sense into a longer timeline to my internal struggle with this dark energy. It wasn’t rational, nor did it feel wholly personal. It felt like a wounding and evil that cut much deeper than anything that could only be attributed to my trauma with my mother.

There was no way to prove it, but I felt that I had somehow opened the pandora’s box of perhaps lifetimes of a very deep primal trauma or wound, and that it was wanting release through me, whether I liked it or not.

The energy itself felt ancient, primordial, pre-verbal and archetypal. It felt collective, and yet intimately personal all at once. While in the psychiatric ward, I felt as though I was processing material that was deeply personal to my own traumas, but also material, imagery and content that I had no idea as to its origin. In many ways, I felt my own life experience had become a fertile karmic grounds on which a deeper collective trauma was attempting to work itself out, however imperfectly, through my being. (read more)

Keep reading at Vanessa Fisher’s site to learn more about her mystical journey through the darkness.

UPDATE: Here is another post I shared later today from Vanessa’s site.

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About Monica Cassani

Author/Editor Beyond Meds: Everything Matters