With infinite compassion and understanding my broken heart is healed…

I got this email from Katidjah and asked if I could share it with the readers here on Beyond Meds. Her video is included below and below that is a transcript of the translated words. It’s incredibly beautiful and moving both. Enjoy.

dear Monica,

i am sharing the result of my ‘heroes journey’ in a 10 minute music & poetry video on my website katidjah.com. To see the English subtitles you need to click the first little white icon below right in the clip.

When i was a three year old, i fell with my head down on concrete from of a second floor window. There was lots of violence and abuse during my childhood years. On doctor’s advice i medicated myself more than 15 years with anti-psychotic drugs. More about me at Crazywise Netherlands 2014.

Four years ago i quit the medication, ready to confront whatever life still had in store for me. Although i certainly met with much pain, anxiety and loneliness, i would do it all over again!

I hope you may enjoy the video and i’d be happy to answer whatsoever questions arise.

With love and many thanks,

Katidjah

The words in translation:

BHAVANTU – LET THERE BE PEACE – Maudy ‘Katidjah’ Apon

In my soul resides a steadfast confidence, because in my heart I found a world full of warmth and light, where, with handkerchiefs of unconditional love my tears were being dried and with infinite understanding and compassion my broken heart was being healed.

There I could dress myself in self-confidence, walking on sandals of acceptance. Where I drank hope from a cup of pride, and ate a wealth of knowledge from plates gilded with truth, with cutlery made from my colored dreams, at a table dressed by Mother Nature.

There I could bathe in justice, wash myself in innocence, in the fragrance of forgiveness, and was allowed to dry myself with the sheet of free thinking. There I slept on a bed of dignity under a blanket full of confidence. There I found myself again. There, in my soul, resides a steadfast confidence.

Do you know me? Who do you know then? Do you know me better than I know myself? Do you know me? Then who am I? Do you know me better than I know myself?

Eyes looking through the sun, searching for the place where I live. Are you a metaphor for someone who is kind, or immeasurably far, someone that doesn’t stand and doesn’t fall, and does not feel as I do, not cold and haughty?

Do you know me? Who do you know then? Do you know me better than I know myself? Do you know me? Then who am I? Do you know me better than I know myself?

Here is the place where I live, a chair by the water, a house along which the improving weather or the falling darkness sails past. Did you call? Here I am!

Do you know me? Who do you know then? Do you know me better than I know myself? Do you know me? Then who am I? Do you know me better than I know myself?

I would like to speak one word that is true and that is mine, that covers who I am, that holds it. I would like to speak one word that stands upright as a person, who looks at me and says: ‘I am your truest self. Fear not, understand me.’

Do you know me? Who do you know then? Do you know me better than I know myself? Do you know me? Then who am I? Do you know me better than I know myself?

Are you the only one for whose eyes nothing is hidden of my nakedness? Can you bear it as no one else, that I don’t give light, am not warm, that I’m not beautiful, not much, that no source springs in my depth. That I only have this face, no other. Have I been seen without shame, taken without shame, by you, by no one less but you? Wouldn’t that be far too much of the truth? Wouldn’t that be far too much of the truth? Wouldn’t that be far too much true?

LOKAH SAMASTAH SUKHINO BHAV ANTU (2x)
Justice is the only worship. Happiness the only good. Ignorance the only slavery. Love is the only priest. The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others so.

LOKAH SAMASTAH SUKHINO BHAV ANTU (2x)

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