this is a repost from 2015. I continue to find some of my old work helpful as I am once again going through an intensive healing process:
My favorite MD is an unusual man of great insight who is also a scientist and researcher. This is a man who has never told me what to do and only supported my process by being witness and offering insights when and if applicable. I found him later in the drug withdrawal journey, after I was off the offending drugs that harmed me. I was still bedridden. He certainly saw the worst of the iatrogenic injury. He once said to me that those of us who have the most extreme reactions to the drugs are actually the most likely to heal and transform. He said the mere fact that we are so profoundly injured by them is proof of our highly neuroplastic brains. And while the healing process may sometimes be radical and even violent as well as time-consuming, that ultimately when we’ve healed, we’ve also transformed in profound ways. Indeed, this is becoming my experience.
This is an insight I recently had during a period of contemplation: — “Emotional “dysregulation” is plasticity. It inherently holds healing within it. Stop believing something is wrong with you. Surrender to the ride.” —
It turns out that thought is very much in line with what this kind and special doctor said to me a few years ago. Now it’s become part of my cellular and experiential knowledge. I share it with you all now so that you too might find it’s truth. (to be clear, I’m still learning it too…these things are all process oriented)
I want to add here that when this insight came to me the term “dysregulation” came on it’s own. I added the word “emotional” for this post because I guess I imagined it would make sense to more people that way. In fact, though, I think it’s important to note that psych drug use and withdrawal actually creates broad spectrum dysregulation in all of the systems of the body/mind and spirit. It’s characterized by autonomic nervous system dysregulation which can truly manifest in what seems infinite ways. People have all sorts of symptoms and many experience a constant flux of all sorts of “dysregulated” weirdness including hypersensitivities to all sorts of things. I am one of those people and this statement embraces it all. I see freedom here. I really do. In opening and allowing and trusting my body is guiding me through this labyrinth…
These sorts of dysregulations are common among folks with trauma histories, in general, as well and among people with many different sorts of chronic illnesses and auto-immune illnesses (which are also often associated with trauma). Psych drug use and withdrawal simply seems to make them much more extreme in some people.
*it is potentially dangerous to come off medications without careful planning. Please be sure to be well educated before undertaking any sort of discontinuation of medications. Do not assume your MD will know how to do it either. They are generally not trained in discontinuation and may not know how to recognize withdrawal issues. A lot of withdrawal issues are misdiagnosed to be psychiatric problems This is why it’s good to educate oneself and find a doctor who is willing to learn with you. See: Psychiatric drug withdrawal and protracted withdrawal syndrome round-up
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