I am 53 years old. I spent the night detoxing from a rape that happened when I was 16. It’s no joke — that trauma embeds in the body if we don’t deal with it when it happens. In my day they told us we were crazy and drugged the crap out of us. We tended to comply in our shame and horror. Let’s all speak up and put an end to it now. (Trauma and the Body)
Of course they’re still telling us we’re crazy and drugging us for trying to speak the truth but the more we speak up the less that will happen. (For all who hold toxic secrets that are making them sick)
Still detoxing too– it’s a lot of work.
I did a post the first time that rape arose to my consciousness in 2012. My nervous system was too drug damaged for me to do all the healing work needed at the time. So I’m still doing it. My first sexual experience was rape. How I’m healing now.
Psychiatric abuse makes our past rapes worse because it systematically denies them. We’re sick. Not the culture that we’re embedded in. I cry foul. Let’s stop the violence against us. Let us help others by speaking up (if it feels safe – trust yourself on this, no one else knows what you’re up against…TRUST YOURSELF…we need to be seen and heard as well. You know who is safe in your life. It does not have to be a therapist. Anyone that feels safe. And then anyone else for which it feels therapeutic and also, perhaps, when you’re ready, for the collective.) Psychiatric abuse is like domestic violence…
This detox that I’m doing has taught me that we need to feel the pain behind our physical inflammation too. It hides psycho-spiritual pain underneath it — if we don’t feel the physical pain and numb it instead we bury the psycho-spiritual. This has been my experience. Our bodies become complexes of hidden pain that needs to be rooted out.
More related:
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Detox the rape. Got to go back long way. 66 minus 63 equals 3 years old. Great grandfather. Denial and shaming by the person I told. Coping mechanisms. Our young bodies and minds and emotions. Imaginary friends who didn’t hurt and could be trusted. Could always go there to be accepted and safe. Not yet.
Reblogged this on GreatCosmicMothersUnite and commented:
Thank You !
The psychiatrist I saw would show up at my art studio unannounced. He purchased my art and displayed it in his office. He asked me to accompany him to concerts and museums. I declined. Even selling him artwork felt wrong, but I was desperate (in many ways). During our sessions he would sit cross-legged on the rug next to the couch where I sat, at my feet. He would slowly rub his elbow or his shoulder, for the entire session. It was disgusting. He claimed it was his Tourette’s. After years of this I think he realized that our “relationship” would not go anywhere and he stopped requiring I see him for my drugs. Today, after 35 years on a cocktail of 6 or 7 drugs I’m 1 1/2 years med free. It took 4 years to come off those drugs. It’s still hell, but drug-free!
Thank you
And congrats