Difficult people of all stripes are simply God wearing different costumes.
The scary costume.
The horror costume.
The ugly costume.
The dangerous costume. Etc
When we open our hearts God is truly everywhere. Dancing with us. Look into the eyes of our brothers and sisters and say HELLO
***
In general when people are unpleasant it’s because they’re hurting. By not seeing this and treating folks who are already hurting badly we actually compound the problem-It’s important to understand that when we do that we hurt ourselves too because we’re all part of this collective
We will never heal as a collective if we avoid everyone we find difficult. Difficult people are traumatized and hurt people. We need to start loving them deeply and profoundly. Those difficult parts are within us too and thus we need to stop pointing at the “bad ones” outside of us and deal with those parts within us.
***
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond — the Guest House
***
Do nothing. Wu Wei exists in every one of us….
***
Compassion isn’t about feeling shitty for someone else. it’s about holding space for the other to be who they are…even as we learn to do that for ourselves…
***
the whole idea that we have control of pretty much anything remains one of the favorite delusions of the ego.
if you truly understand the mind there is no need for control. Control is an illusion anyway. In flow, in alignment the concept of control disappears as clarity replaces it.
our lack of capacity to control pretty much anything at all is why SURRENDER to the whole is the only way to go. Giving up any hope for any control and losing one self thereby…that’s the practice.
***
Healthy boundaries flow and are seamless and artful. Contrived boundaries are forced and often cruel and violent. Mental health professionals are taught contrived boundaries because natural boundaries cannot be taught and systems rely on contrived boundaries.
***
Looking for our “tribe” is at least in part, an attempt to be reparented. Some part of us knows we were not given what we needed by those who raised us.
***
This body as object of meditation. Witness the unraveling of illness into well-being — come to understand humanity’s ills. A perfect reflection.
more on Chronic Illness
***
Tom Petty said it first..the eternal now dictates that this is happening at all times!! (I dare say I DO HAVE WINGS!! 🙌😻 (I still crash to the ground, however…finding that place where the eternal now is always WINGED)
“I’m learning to fly
But I ain’t got wings
And coming down
Is the hardest thing
I’m learning to fly
Around the clouds
But what goes up
Must come down…”
***
For a multitude of ideas about how to create a life filled with safer alternatives to psychiatric drugs visit the drop-down menus at the top of this page or scroll down the homepage for more recent postings.
Support Everything Matters: Beyond Meds. Make a donation with PayPal or Enter Amazon via a link from this blog and do the shopping you’d be doing anyway. No need to purchase the book the link takes you to. Thank you!
There is quite a lot of wisdom in this one post!
hey there. Do we know one another? I”m in Asheville too and Kaoverii has been a friend for many years (pre-Facebook, to be clear! ha ha). Nice to meet you here. xo
Hi Monica, thanks for reaching out! I don’t think we’ve met, but I also don’t remember how I got introduced to your blog. Maybe we connected via WordPress in past? Regardless, that’s really cool!
Your work is really neat
mmh, Very well written, thank you. Feeling a bit intimidated – don’t think I measure up to much here. Thinking of 3 types of difficult people – down-and-outs I can cope with; managerial types usually with blinkers… I am very slowly getting there and only because I soon will have reached the age where I don’t depend on them professionally anymore. And the noisy ones – e.g. sat next to 3 of a French-speaking family who talked loudly on the coach for 4 hrs, incessantly – until I could not take it an more, made a grumpy remark and moved to play driver’s mate for a bit. – Afterwards, I felt I had more of a problem with the way I handled it than with them. So no easy answers.
Thanks again Monica, for continuing to share, where you’re at
in making sense of, how challenging you are finding what life seems
committed at throwing your way, for you to learn from.
‘Delusions of Ego?’ having control, or believing one does not?
Isn’t it simply a choice? Yes there are things, life, happenings
one has little control over occurring, Yet, do we not always have control
over how one relates, flavors the experience? based on ones free choice of IDB, beliefs? <3
How is it useful to infer such responsibleness, and choice, as delusional?
that’s for you to determine Larry. It’s simply my experience. You do whatever you like with it!
Thank you so much, Monica. #surrendertowin
Been checking in, some great posts you’re doing lately, so where’s that book we’re all looking forward to? have you finished it yet? x
no. I’ve not even started anything…at least in writing. there are so many possible threads for books in my being, however. It will come as it will. I am not in charge!!
None of us are 🙂
you got it. 🥰
Great insight and wisdom..
Thanks Monica..
hey! great to see you! xoxo
I love this. My “flow” and current state of surrender needed this today.
thank you! we are doing the work together. Much love to you!
Right back at you 💓