If you want to beat yourself up when you “slip into old habits” go for it, but I suggest you learn to be kind to yourself instead. When you find that you can do that go for deeply mindful instead of beating yourself up…see what the parts of you that wanted that food or drug or whatever really want. Sink into the emotional aspects of eating, drinking or partying in less than ideal ways…. I’ve healed a lot of young injured parts that way.
See: more on parts and subpersonalities)
***
Having an agenda is a violence against the moment.
***
We are drawn to the disingenuousness in others that we might see it in ourselves
Unfortunately more often than not we get drawn into rabbit holes that may last years when we allow others to influence us — this is the nature of conditioning. It is all we know.
And then one day in flow nothing is sticky anymore….
***
The perpetrating healer should be an archetype that’s routinely discussed in circles of any kind of helping professional. The abuses of the perpetrating healer become more & more subtle & (even) sophisticated as the healer becomes more aware… it’s an ugly razor’s edge…
I have the dubious distinction of bringing out the perpetrating healer in almost everyone I dare to approach with vulnerability.
luckily for me there have been a few notable and wondrous exceptions to that rule…and as I come into clarity it’s becoming the norm, finally
hence I’ve been able to bring through this unpopular teaching of sorts. it’s certainly not something I consciously chose…the further I move along this trajectory- fewer professionals are able to follow, appreciate or show interest in what I’m saying…
it’s going democratic…to the people…we are skipping the guru, the teacher, the paid healer…we are forming communities and healing each other free from the binds of capitalism.
***
Integrate that which we consider ugly. Dare to look into the shadow. In so doing it is illuminated. In so doing we heal.
More on the SHADOW aspects of being human
***
AND yes, still, SERIOUSLY. I could use some compensation for the many 100s of hours I’ve worked with folks over the years. Working like we do and not getting any sort of compensation that I might live more comfortably in the face of continued challenges continues to teach us what we’ve learned from psychiatry. We must not be worth it. Let’s change that patterning. If I helped you or a loved one out, please help me back now. thank you.
****We could use some financial support at the moment! You know, for things like the mortgage so that we can maintain a roof over our heads. Yup. I do this all for no other compensation that what the readers want to offer in support. Thank you!****
For a multitude of ideas about how to create a life filled with safe alternatives to psychiatric drugs visit the drop-down menus at the top of this page.
Support Everything Matters: Beyond Meds. Make a donation with PayPal orEnter Amazon via a link from this blog and do the shopping you’d be doing anyway. No need to purchase the book the link takes you to. Thank you!
Loved this post! The “perpetrating healer” indeed. And yes, the vulnerability. I could related.
“The abuses of the perpetrating healer become more & more subtle & (even) sophisticated as the healer becomes more aware…
I have the dubious distinction of bringing out the perpetrating healer in almost everyone I dare to approach with vulnerability.
luckily for me there have been a few notable and wondrous exceptions to that rule…and as I come into clarity it’s becoming the norm, finally”
Thank goodness for the few notable and wondrous exceptions.
….and such great insights they are. Thank you.
Love your insights Monica, they console me.
Thank you.
Thank you! It’s so nice to see you xoxo