My sleep has come back slowly. One of the few MDs I’ve worked with who has been helpful has a specialty in sleep medicine. When I met him I was lucky if I slept one hour a night and I didn’t tolerate anything (supplement or psych drug wise) to help support sleep…he assured me that what he called my “sleep architecture” would come back…(he also is familiar with the sort of iatrogenic brain injury we get from the psych meds) … in any case his words stay with me even now and I have a palpable sense of my body reconstructing my sleep architecture over time…now I can take a few supplement supports and herbs as well…but time, also, really continues to matter. I went from 0-2 hours a night (a few years of that) to 2-4 hours a night (a couple of years) and now I’m at 4-6 hours and occasionally sleep 7 or 8 hours…it’s been a trip! I continue to heal. … [click on title for the rest of the post]
So really, all the above feel like miracles to me. Every moment feels that way if I let it. And yeah, sometimes things still really suck, too. My nervous system is still healing and that is the way it is. Nonetheless, I can see the miracles now and when things are more on the painful side I know that the miracles are still there even though this body is having a hard time. It means I experience life with a sort of freedom I never had before. Life is amazing. And it’s amazing even when I’m feeling crappy. Because the wondrous nature of life is consistent even while it’s manifestations are ever-changing. … [click on title for the rest of the post]
I know a lot of folks who are still in earlier phases of withdrawing from psych drugs are still feeling desperately alone and sicker than they ever imagined possible. It does pass. A lot of us have made it through that hellish darkness. Things really do get better. We come to thrive again. — My mother is visiting next week. I’ve not seen her in 6 years. I was too ill to have visitors who couldn’t abide the extreme nature of what I was dealing with when I was struck with the drug iatrogenesis (medical injury). That included almost everyone.… … [click on the title to read and view more]
The It Gets Better Series — Last year for several weeks I republished old posts from the days when I was bedridden and unable to speak. I posted them with the contrast of the current commentary that reflected how much health I have found in the last few years of coming back from a severe iatrogenic injury caused by psychiatric drugs. Today I’m collecting those posts so that I can add this page to the drop-down navigation menu. When I put it into the archives above I will title it “The It Gets Better Series.” So that is what you will want to look for in the future. For now I’ve given it a different title because I wanted to underscore the fact that this blog has helped me in profound ways too. It’s never been a one way street. … [click on title to view more]
I am a completely different person from when I wrote the below piece. Shaped by what I was then, but completely different in a positive sense. Today as I write this I’m having a bit of a flare which is part of the healing process, so it remains not an all or nothing thing, yet the way I experience everything now is different. Life is always good even when it’s painful and difficult. Having that capacity is a gift as far as I’m concerned and also a sign of inherent wellness. … [click on title for the rest of the post]
#12 from the IT GETS BETTER series
JANUARY 10, 2012
I don’t often talk about the numerous, odd and often acute aches and pains we who’ve been harmed by drugs often experience as a result of the iatrogenic damage from taking and then withdrawing from psychiatric drugs. … [click on title to read and view more]
NOTE: the below symptoms can be found in any protracted psychiatric drug withdrawal syndrome and are not limited to benzodiazepines. The autonomic nervous system is potentially impacted by all the different classes of psych meds and thus these neurological symptoms can be seen when coming off any class of psych drug. … [click on title to read and view more]
The dangerousness of insomnia as associated with psychiatric drug withdrawal syndromes. This is a post about what it was like at the time in 2011 and further information to learn how to get through it and heal. Because it does get better. … [click on title for the rest of the post]
Indeed, I do not consider myself ill anymore. I consider myself HEALING which is a vibrant state of movement and change. My limitations do not mean that I am sick. Learning to make boundaries for my well-being has been one of the healthiest things I’ve learned to do. Deeply respecting the needs of this body/temple is one of the most wonderful achievements of WELLNESS. … [click on title for the rest of the post]
And to be clear — It’s not like this anymore. It’s gotten a whole lot better.
(from) MARCH 19, 2010
This is an email I wrote to a friend who asked what it was like to experience the post benzo withdrawal. I don’t write much anymore, even emails to friends and family, so I figured I’d be economical and use this on the blog.
I began the description:
Have you tripped before? I often feel like I’m having a bad trip and it’s the part in which one is coming down…strange sensations and terror…as well as semi-psychotic thought processes. … [click on title to read and view more]