This is a little collection of thoughts I’ve written down in the last month and a half or so. I’m still getting a grip on what happened and these are some of my musings. My best to all who visit here today and always.
Learning to live again…
Stranger *** (story from inside the psych ward)
By Steven Morgan – Tonight will be a Haldol night. The newly minted nurse will say, This is going to make you feel better, and I will duly reply, Ok, anything. She will tell me to lean forward over the table and pull up my gown. I will feel cold air crawl like fingers around my torso. She will tell me it’s going to feel like a prick, but only for a moment. I will feel the skin on my ass cinch around the needle. The tranquilizer will swim out the chute in a billowing yellow cloud. She will announce, Good job, jerking back. ….
the parts that hurt: email to the man who told me to go see a psychiatrist
So, funnily enough, I did go to a psychiatrist. Someone I met some years ago. He’s in the mainstream and well-respected there because he knows how to float between worlds. He’s awake. He and I talked about your work some years ago. He was familiar with it and respects it. He’s one of the kindest human beings I’ve ever met. …
Rest in peace my dear friend and comrade in madness…Ian Scheffel (formerly Bill Scheffel)
We have no memory of being in the womb or emerging from the birth canal. Dreams are quickly forgotten if remembered at all. We experience emotions but may not always know why. The most fundamental dimensions of our experience cannot be found in any solid way, quantified, or even seen. How can we understand spiritual emergencies and other spiritually transformative events if, as R.D. Laing wrote, “We can see other people’s behavior but not their experience?” …
Coming home (by Paul Woodward and Monica)
I retired the site late last year and didn’t know what the future of my work would be. I had become progressively ill with digestive and auto-immune issues in spite of eating and living really clean and well. I continued to deal with severe iatrogenic injury from the cocktail of psych drugs I came off of many years ago now. Drugs really do cause harm and I was about to discover that all over again.
From inside out to outside in…that’s what healing is doing
From inside out to outside in…that’s what healing is doing. Rewiring for dealing with reality starting from within rather than without. When gut lining and brain barrier is compromised there is only porousness…it is reflected in the psyche manifesting as poor boundaries… it was the biofilm acting as mucosa and gut lining that was saving… Continue Reading →
Developing unconditional friendship with yourself
I woke up in the middle of the night in meditation and contemplation, a bit horrified and humbled and also amazed with a sense of wondrousness at what I’ve been through in the last few days. About what I’ve discovered about myself and humanity in general, as my healing continues to unfold. I am wondrously human! Especially in my incapacity to have any control whatsoever over pretty much anything. It’s often both humbling and frightening. …
Somatic mysticism: reframing “hypersensitivity”
Somatic mysticism: reframing “hypersensitivity”. I can feel my cells doing their work quite often and I feel all manner of metabolic movement and I feel far more than I can even begin to really know from a biological standpoint. Still when I listen and pay attention I collect data, information to act on. With this info I continue to heal and become (consciously) one with all that is.
Food for thought or contemplation
I’m mostly not blogging anymore, it’s true, but I do still jot down thoughts from time to time. I’m sharing a bunch of those thoughts from the last couple of months. I’ve included links in some of them where you might find more similar thoughts explored and collected here on the website. They are a loose sort of documentation of my process as it continues. Be well. Remember, healing is not a linear process! Love to you all.
Are We Humans Terminally Insane or Just Waking Up?
by Paul Levy – How does anyone possibly express in words the state of collective madness that humanity has fallen into at this time in our history? As if in a hypnotic trance, our species is enacting a mass ritual suicide on a global scale, rushing as fast as we can towards our own self-destruction. We are destroying the biospheric life-support systems of the planet in so many different ways that it is as if we are determined to make this suicide attempt work—using a variety of methods as a perverse insurance policy, in case a couple of them don’t do the job. What modern-day humanity is confronted with, to quote the author and Trappist monk Thomas Merton, is “a crisis of sanity first of all.” …
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