one for the old boy

My friend Yan Zhitui of BeingsAkin sent me this poem by Charles Bukowski since I just lost my Jezebel. I, like Charles below,  found that my kitty remained in my heart and woke up the day after she died to a sense of peace and joy knowing she was still with me...life unfolds it's mysteries... Continue Reading →

Grieving and praising life are twins

I've been sitting vigil with my dying kitty for about 24 hours now. I have not slept. She has consistently needed tending to as she can no longer stand but clearly indicates a need to move and shift her body that she might be comfortable. This is precious, delicious time. I've been watching the film... Continue Reading →

Living after loss: the Adventure of Grief

I'd like to note that the message in this video can be generalized to all kinds of loss and trauma too. Not just the loss of a loved one. We must feel our emotions!! And embrace all of life! Psychiatry is a whole field of medicine dedicated to the suppression of emotions and the darkness of our psyches. The healing involved in coming out of decades of this suppression is phenomenally difficult and perhaps sometimes impossible. This is why I do the work I do, that people today learn to embrace their lives rather than drug it away. If you block the negative emotions you in turn block all the positive emotions. … [click on title for the rest of the post]

The pain of heartbreak and mourning

The pain of mourning and heartbreak is neurologically similar to being submitted to torture. There seems to be only one way to end that agony. Neuroscience calls it an "evolutionary jump" and Jungians call it the process of Individuation. The good news is, if you love, your heart should be broken at some point in your life. If not, your love may remain the innocent love of a child. Ginette Paris will demonstrate how neuroscience agrees with the basic tenants of depth psychology and will discuss how the process of Individuation begins with heartbreak. … [click on title to read the rest]

“The cure for pain is in the pain.” My experience tells me that this is true

Sometimes pain and grief are necessary agents of growth in our lives. I’ve been thinking a lot about pain lately, particularly pain of the emotional and psychological variety, and I’ve come to realize that a lot of my problems and failures as a young man resulted from my inability to be with my own pain. Not that I could have known how to be with it. To the contrary, I was taught and conditioned to run from it and to ignore it, as it seems most of us were, and still are.

Grief: a love story

A Japanese artist travels to the salt flats of western Utah to discuss life, death, rebirth, and making art from salt.

The pain of heartbreak and mourning

The pain of mourning and heartbreak is neurologically similar to being submitted to torture. There seems to be only one way to end that agony. Neuroscience calls it an "evolutionary jump" and Jungians call it the process of Individuation. The good news is, if you love, your heart should be broken at some point in your life. If not, your love may remain the innocent love of a child. Ginette Paris will demonstrate how neuroscience agrees with the basic tenants of depth psychology and will discuss how the process of Individuation begins with heartbreak.

How to be in the darkness

When the path ahead is dark, how can we keep from stumbling? How do we make our way with courage and dignity?

Healing through the dark emotions

"Fear, grief and despair are uncomfortable and are seen as signs of personal failure. In our culture we call them "negative" and think of them as "bad." I prefer to call these emotions "dark," because I like the image of a rich, fertile soil from which something unexpected can bloom. Also we keep them "in the dark" and tend not to speak about them. We privatize them and don't see the ways in which they are connected to the world. But the dark emotions are inevitable. They are part of the universal human experience and are certainly worthy of our attention. They bring us important information about ourselves and the world and can be vehicles of profound transformation."

Grief to become just another form of depression? another disorder for the DSM5 (and alternative ways of thinking about that pain)

As we watch the hullabaloo around the creation of the next DSM, one of the moves towards increasing pathology in normal people is to label grief a depression, hence opening the floodgates that more people will be treated with antidepressants. The fact is this has already been happening for a long time. Many people are introduced to antidepressants after the loss of a loved one or after a divorce etc. Still, to further legitimize the mass drugging of normal pain and heartbreak that all human beings will face at one time of another as we live our lives is a bad direction to move in. The DSM5 wants to do that.

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