I've come to believe that serious microbiome issues (lyme disease) and tardyve diskinesia are essentially the same thing. Such is the experience in my body. I have lyme disease -- with 5 documented pathogens involved. I have mostly used Buhner inspired treatments. I also have tardive dyskinesia, a collection of debilitating "symptoms" associated with pharmaceutical... Continue Reading →
I learned “auto-immune” meant my system was in over-drive all the time because it was fighting real infections. Western medicine says that auto-immune means the body is hurting itself. For me this was untrue. My body was fighting and waiting for me to start cooperating.
Infections that are locked up in biofilm don’t show up on labs. It does not make them any less real. They become much more dangerous because the medical system denies their existence and tells many people with “unexplained” chronic issues that they are delusional. Shameful.
Biofilm encased infections can vary from completely harmless/contained to raging insanity. Pharma in my instance (and the ensuing withdrawal illness) created outrageous opportunistic infections. Stuff in biofilm is, in general, anti-biotic resistant hence chronicity of all sorts can develop.
I’ve never regretted giving up on getting diagnosed. What I’ve learned as an undiagnosed chronically ill person (auto-immune & “lyme disease”…
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More of my latest meanderings: Egalitarian "hetero" relationships don't need to look like God/Goddess (or anima/animus) relationships. They're not distinctively nor necessarily male and female. Both partners may embody both male and female. A man may be more archetypically female . A woman might be more male. Hetero-normative crap is crap. I see women and... Continue Reading →
Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes. - Walt Whitman I needed to share Walt as I write from several different physiologies, thus perhaps appear inconsistent. It is my reality, however -- as my physiology switches so does my reality. *** I may be awake, I... Continue Reading →
Trust your exhaustion. Take a rest. A nap. STOP. It's okay. It's good to listen to the body. *** Both silence and stillness can be found in all movement and noise as well... silence and stillness are foundational...we need not stop doing anything nor do anything in particular to find them. *** I've been spending... Continue Reading →
Part of the success of this website has been my willingness (and need) to speak things that many of my readers were thinking but not yet saying. As I've gotten deeper into my trauma release and healing I've backed away from this site in many regards and ventured into dark areas of the psyche which even many people who had followed me for a long time no longer wanted to partake in. I've continued to post difficult material much of which continues to be trauma release, both for myself and for those who also, like me have wandered far into the abyss, by necessity, for their healing. Most of the people I've had the privilege of helping on this site have a radically different history than I've had. This is rarely acknowledged or understood. Most of the people with histories like mine are totally and completely swallowed by psychiatry and lost forever. I don't actually know anyone like me who has made it as far as I have off the drugs etc. It's a tragedy that hurts me. And so...this site, in part, is trauma release in the internet age.
I lay awake at 2:20 am this morning after going to bed at 8 pm. I was feeling a bit forlorn and I've had a really rough, homeless several months. Things are calming down now and I have a place to live for now but the chaos lingers in my body as it continues to... Continue Reading →
Update: I have heard from two women who have reported similar abuse. One of them has known him for many years and says this is a repeated behavior that he has played out with many women. This is why I did this so that he can be held accountable and women might no longer be... Continue Reading →
"I know this may sound strange but so often what we are reacting to is not being able to tolerate what is happening in our own sensations, emotions and experiences. We react to get rid of the feeling, to push away the sensations, because they are associated with something intolerable, painful and uneasy."
We're all selfish human beings in training to become the lovers we are as well. The surviving animal must be "selfish." As we come out of pure survival, the species depends on us becoming lover. Love madly, passionately, indiscriminately. Start with your own selfish self. *** let go. let go. let go. *** In surrender... Continue Reading →