being a nobody: social media take heed

Here is to being nobody with everybody! Yes a celebration of being a nobody. To grasp our nobodyness and celebrate it seems to be at the essence of successful nonhierarchical living. If we all understand and embraced the nobody nature of our existence things would be different. Granted, it's only something to think about since as we, as western people, are about as far away from embracing this deeply as is possible. We might say our lack of understanding our nobodyness is what is ailing us in the most profound way.

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Yoga, As Needed

The video shows me doing yoga as needed: Cobra on a park bench and then I did a little cat cow too. I incorporate my yoga into every moment of daily life so that there is no separation as I slowly rehab over and over again.

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the surrendered path

New Post when I'm in guidance there is no thought whatsoever. I watch and learn. My body is a channel of the divine. This is the nature of the surrendered path I live. the above is true, while I am also in a hell realm most of the time. So it's hard to explain to people. I learn all about humanity, however from here. We really cannot know ourselves without a deep dive into shadow. I, for whatever reason, was called to the fringes of the human experience...all with the afflicted body being mirror for the human condition and that which is happening on the planet right now.

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How to use the site

This is how to use the site Many people still ask me for my “protocols.” The message I communicate for healing is that we are all different and our paths are also, therefore, going to be endlessly diverse. I share my experience, not so that it may be copied, but so that the reader can get a sense of process.

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Third eye cleanse and support…

I just made a third eye cleanse / opening essential oil blend. I’ve been detoxing my brain and most specifically it seems, the pineal gland area ~ which seems to correlate with the third eye. I’ve got a nasty microorganism imbalance in there…it put me in ICU when I almost died a year and a half ago…it’s no joke.  Update 2026: I happened upon this old post (third eye cleanse and support…) and was surprised. I didn't remember writing it and that's because I virtually never talk about the specific substances I might use to support my healing. It turns out that about a year after the writing of this I tested positive for Lyme and several co-infections. I've written a lot about that since then. I think microbiome issues are part of everyone's healing journey wether it needs to become conscious or not.

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Meditation on death, impermanence and post traumatic stress

Update 2026: on death and impermanence...death became part of my life earlier than it does for many people. I started losing friends and people I loved in highschool. One of my closest friends died of AIDS when I was 21. That led me to work in hospice with many young dying people in San Francisco by the time I was 23. That led to my first social work position. Working with folks with HIV and AIDS at the beginning of that cruel epidemic that took so many young, vibrant lives. It shaped me. Death remains something familiar and has always been part of my work.

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“Today I felt worthless”

By Andrew Duff Mcduffee -- I felt worthless because I was reflecting on mistakes I had made in the past. But ironically, feeling worthless doesn't give me any energy or motivation to do anything to correct my mistakes in the present. So ultimately it's not very useful. So I did a quick process to change my state, the process that has worked the best for me with states like worthlessness, helplessness, or hopelessness (what I consider to be the core of depression). ...

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Be here now

I remember the first time I encountered Ram Dass' book Be Here Now. I found it at a garage sale when I was in college. I had never heard of it and had no idea it was famous. It was truly an AHA moment for me. All these years later, remembering those three words as mantra continues to inspire. BE HERE NOW. It might be considered cliche in some circles but given I remember the first time I heard it and it was long before it became so colloquial, I still like it and it brings me to mindfulness. It's important for people to find their own way of coming to mindfulness.

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Expansion and contraction

Today I'm grateful for Shinzen Young. I woke with very contracted energy this morning and felt pretty distressed. I thought about how my energy contracts and expands a whole lot. When I thought about that I remembered that Shinzen Young's youtube channel is called "expandcontract." So I ventured over to his channel and found this dharma talk which was just exactly what I needed. Yes, guidance leads me to what I need pretty much always now. Guidance is showing me how to heal myself.  The lesson today was expansion and contraction. Perfect.

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Gestalt: individuality and acceptance

The below words from Gestalt are good to contemplate when considering the nature of coercion…the impetus is in all of us…think about how often we’ve thought we knew what someone else should do or think or feel. Force in psychiatry is violent and it harms people permanently. "I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful. If not, it can't be helped. "

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A mini dreamwork primer

Some folks have a hard time remembering their dreams. They may say “I never have any dreams” or “I have dreams but I can’t remember anything.” But in my experience, there’s always something you can use as a starting point, even when you’re certain there isn’t. You may wake up with a feeling, an impression, or an image in your mind. You may awaken with a vague recollection of a person, a place, or just a word that came to you while you slept. That is your starting point for working with your dreams. Record it somehow. If you do just that much, consistently, you’ll notice that your dream recall begins to improve and you’ll find that you can remember much more than you thought you could.

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Why I communicated with the MD who harmed me

Update 2026: I've not communicated with the MD that this post is about for some years now. I did maintain contact for over a decade. In the end I actually publicly outed him. I think people need to be called to accountability. Everything I've said about him and the complexity of our relationship remains true. 2012: I’ve been documenting my correspondence with my longest term prescribing psychiatrist for a few years. The page where I link to all the documentation has been getting traffic since the article I wrote about my being polydrugged was published on David Healy's site and Mad in America.

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Mindless Mindfulness and Sorting for Novelty

Mindfulness is often defined as “bringing all of one’s attention to the present moment” or “paying attention in a particular way.” But how should one bring all of one’s attention to the present moment? And what should one pay attention to in order to be “mindful”? And for what purpose does a person engage in mindfulness? A frequently used mindfulness meditation technique is to notice the breath as it goes in and out. This task is very boring and done over long periods sitting upright can be very painful. They don’t tell you that in the marketing though! The benefits emphasized are things like gaining a more peaceful mind, “changing your brain,” reducing stress, and improving concentration. Let’s take the last claim. What is concentration exactly, and what kind of concentration do we want to develop?

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The void

Often people experience a frightening thought that at the center of their being is a void, a terrible nothingness that threatens to swallow them whole. Less often a person is aware enough of this concern to express it in words. Frequently people live their entire lives avoiding, that is to say, being driven by this existential anxiety, the fear of death or non-being.

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Complex Conscientiousness

Complex Conscientiousness -- by Duff McDuffee Conscientiousness is one of the big five personality traits. It means something like being self-disciplined, painstaking and careful, thorough, organized, hard working, goal-oriented, reliable, deliberate. It also means acting according to one’s conscience. In simpler times this was a key element of what people meant by one’s character, but in... Continue Reading →

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Withdrawal from SSRI led to spiral of polydrugging: Molly’s story

Update 2026: it's not unusual for SSRI's to trigger states that then get labeled bipolar. Many people graduate from a single drug to polydrugging in this way. A drug reaction is then drugged and the initiation into hardcore psychiatry begins.

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Neuroleptics: The New Magic Potion?

Update 2026: Since this was posted in 2009 we've seen the truth of this evolve. Drugs like abilify and seroquel are routinely used to help just about anyone sleep, for example. Neuroleptics, also categorized as antipsychotics are the new Benzos, really. Benzodiazepines got a bad rap and so they had to be replaced by something. Satire by the gifted psychiatrist and scientist, turned poet: Grace Jackson MD - author of Drug-Induced Dementia: a perfect crime (link included) Neuroleptics for Everyone

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Revisiting hospitalization records: more early history

Update 2026: Revisiting hospitalization records is another very early post from the site. Always odd for me to reread these articles. They can still hurt and my openness at the time is sometimes difficult to read. This site got very popular and now it's been on the internet for a long time but I didn't know what was going to happen with the internet 20 years ago when I started writing. None of us knew how things would go with the internet. And I didn't know my site was going to be widely read and popular either. I felt like I was writing to friends when I started. Because I was. All I can say is I'm glad I lived the golden age because the internet now is a pale shadow of what it was at the beginning. It's very sad to see what has happened.

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Pharmaceutical history: Happy Pills In America

The spectacular increase in the use of psychiatric drugs over the past 50 years involved what a University at Buffalo historian calls “a massive break with what we consider ‘normal’ mental health,” one linked to myriad social and cultural changes in America. “Happy Pills in America: From Miltown to Prozac” (November 2008, Johns Hopkins University Press), a new book by David Herzberg, Ph.D., UB assistant professor of history, considers a wide range of psychiatric medications hailed in pharmaceutical marketing as “wonder drugs” and the social changes they provoked. Notably, he examines how we came to see “normalcy” in light of their mood-altering capabilities, and how we continue to respond to the barrage of drug advertising aimed directly at consumers.

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Madness, diversity and inclusivity

I want to share this old video: madness, diversity and inclusivity. It's general message is especially important now with all the division we are facing societally. If you're interested in more YouTube talks, please let me know.

Mad Camp 2026

There's still time to apply for Mad Camp in Northern California in July. Madcamp.net for all the information you need. Also: Apply here  https://forms.gle/sUMwbJSR18qEeon5Ahttp://madcamp.net/SUBSCRIBE https://madcamp.substack.com/ Join us for a 5 day summer camp!Mad Camp 2023 and 2024 were absolute amazing smash successes! AND 2025!!! So YES let’s do it again everyone! July 16-20 2026! APPLY... Continue Reading →

Dissociation and psych drugs

Here's an important thing to understand about psychiatric drugs. Mental health conditions, just about all of them, are forms of dissociation from the body. Psychiatric drugs, across the board, dissociate one further from the body. Thus, they make the issues worse. When people actually do find relief on psych drugs, that's real and some people find in that kind of relief an opportunity to seek other ways of healing. Other people, however, never get off of the drugs and slowly their metabolic processes and capacity to detoxify diminish further. Thus, we get the statistic that people on psych meds die 25 years earlier on average.

Short Videos of the International Peer Respite/Soteria Summit

This is to let you know the International Peer Respite/Soteria Summit (Summit), with which I am involved, recently arranged for the incomparable Daniel Mackler to edit its over 20 hours of videos into short clips:  Included is an list of them all.

Search on Beyond Meds

I use a paid search engine to make this site competitive with what's out there these days (just for accessibility, mind you... I'm not into marketing anymore) ... There a a bunch of staggered payments for upgrades. This one for search caught me by surprise. I would love some help if you feel so inclined.... Continue Reading →

navigating a viral “thread” on social media

being accused of offering up "dangerous misinformation." it's more like the interpretation offered about the actual facts makes the person uncomfortable. I forget how nasty and mean people are when they think that psychiatry is the bees knees and they imagine I'm hardcore anti. I'm not. I have witnessed and supported thousands of people who have been gravely harmed, often to the point of death by psychiatry AND I still support the individual doing what they need to do in terms of psych treatment...because we live in hell and in hell you do what you gotta do. I have numerous posts on my site that make this clear. You do not need to be cruel to people you do not understand. Get a grip.

Ernest Hemingway, the FBI and ECT

Ernest Hemingway killed himself, after a course of ECT. He was given ECT because he got into the hands of psychiatry and they thought he was paranoid because he was saying the FBI was surveilling him. It turns out the FBI was, indeed surveilling him. Given I see how often psychiatry and medicine gaslight all of us who've been injured by psych drugs and disbelieve pretty much anything we might say about our experience, this story is poignant. I like to make it clear that in cases such as these, psychiatry is guilty of murder. Hemingway died at the hands of psychiatry, as many people I know have. Unfortunately some people will only pay attention when a story like this is told. It's then a tiny chip in the fabric of delusion that our society operates under. (excerpt by Bruce Levine follows)

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