“To be Christ oneself is the true following of Christ.” -- Carl G. Jung, The Red Book: Liber Novus Ha! I have the Red Book but I haven't read it word for word and I was not aware of this statement. For some years now I've been saying "we are the second coming of Christ".
I've been asking the question for many years: Who am I? Who am I without my work? Without my family? Without my sexuality? Without my home? Who am I without my country? Without the ground beneath my feet? Who am I without these varieties of identity that obscure the view? Identity obscures the view.
From my notes: Transformative Deconditioning - musings for the apocalypse Detox isn’t just about the psych drugs (or environmental toxins etc etc) it’s from our entire system and culture…it’s a long process…most people don’t really understand how deeply holistic and systemic the need for detoxification (de-conditioning) is… psych drugs for some of us are the straw that breaks the camels back… we have layers and layers to free ourselves from..drug freedom is just one piece of it and may come at anytime. We can do the work on or off these substances…
A collection of thoughts, aphorisms and brief prose filled with the reflections of a healing woman.
When people are incapable of understanding nuance (grey areas, paradox, nonduality, whatever you want to call it) they are generally incapable of communicating on difficult topics. Generally anyone attached dogmatically to any particular belief have trouble opening to conflicting or even complimentary information. When one comes up against dogma in another it seems best to go silent and start listening carefully. Sometimes there is a way to re-engage and other times the best one can do is allow the moment while opening the heart as wide as possible. When one cannot be understood, when communication isn’t possible, argument is not helpful. ...
This is how to use the site Many people still ask me for my “protocols.” The message I communicate for healing is that we are all different and our paths are also, therefore, going to be endlessly diverse. I share my experience, not so that it may be copied, but so that the reader can get a sense of process.
Soulwork is not a high road. It's a deep fall into an unforgiving darkness that won't let you go until you find the song that sings you home. - McCall Erickson *** Love humbles by creating deep gratitude for a lesson learned and allows us to feel vulnerable and thus allows humility. Humiliation is cruel and tends to build pride in reactivity rather than humility. ...
By Martyn Webber -- There's grief in awakening. Grief at the loss of autonomy, grief at the loss of purpose and meaning. Grief at the loss of knowing and certainty, however deluded they were. There's grief over losing one's power, and one's familiar identity. There's so much loss in awakening. When it dawns that there's nothing we can keep, nothing can be retained beyond its prescribed time, and all that we know and love must pass, then a natural grief for all of it can come. And since this knowledge of loss is for all of it, for all time, then that ache of grief is an ever-present refrain, a broken heart, amidst the delight at the miracle and mystery of life. ...
I love these books. Many of us with long term chronic illness will find that we have chronic infections of various kinds as well. Lyme disease is really just a somewhat more recognized cause of micro-organism chaos. Most chronic illness has some of this going on. (Update: 2026 - I've come to think of Lyme dx as a distraction. It's just one of many possible systemic infections and just like in psychiatry what is really happening in our bodies and minds is not dealt with in the current medical system.
I've never had a cohesive sense of self. That's the part that gets labeled "mentally ill." No socially appropriate ego development. I became aware anyway and I can fake functioning like everyone else when I have to. Healing this sort of thing involves doing the opposite of what Buddhism and other more esoteric systems teach. It means coming back into the body and integrating the self from no-self. It is not about losing the self because that self never was...in that way we are both ahead of "typicals" and not too... the biggest problem is typicals don't know how to help and are in fact often dangerous to us... This still breaks my heart everyday as I continue to learn about my body and thus from this little window the body which is humanity, too. *** Things are always changing when we're healing...CHANGE. Dogmatic attachment to anything at all is the antithesis of being in the now...the antithesis of healing.
When people are sensitive and they get labeled mentally ill...the force of all of society believing people are sick and wrong is projected onto us. If we don't come to understand the actual toxic force of this it will kill us. That is the tragic truth. And it's no small thing to do that. When all of society projects the belief that ugly, intractable uncontrollable forces are making us sick...well, no surprise...we get sick...
I love the part in the below excerpt about meditating on a noisy train. This is something I often do, that is, meditate in places people don't conceive of being appropriate spaces. Meditation is much more about being wherever you are fully in the moment then it is about being in a silent place with no distractions.
When one understands the interconnectedness of everything it becomes clear that transformative healing must borrow from all corners of experience... "Cure" is not about one thing applied to the whole. Healing is instead a dance of many things synergistically coming together for wholeness. The quick fix is a lie.
By Will Hall Focusing is a book and technique by Eugene Gendlin that began with a very provocative research study: therapy clients were studied to determine what about them would predict whether therapy would be successful or not. It turns out that people who, in tapes of their discussions with the therapist, could focus in on their felt emotional awareness had a much higher rate of reporting that therapy was helpful. The next question was, Could this be taught? To do focusing, first you need to recognize that you have permission to disregard the focusing instructions.
Peer Respite Centers -- Clearly a much more humane and healing way to go! And it saves money too. It does not fill the pockets of pharma and psychiatrists though. Wow, yes, a healing refuge for the psyche with NO psychiatrists. And they work...better than hospitals.
This teaching is in keeping with my practice of being with all that arises within. Fear here can be translated to "anxiety," which is the clinical term for fear which everyone at one time or another experiences with or without a diagnosis of some sort of anxiety "disorder." Psychiatry pathologizes much of the normal human experience and fear and/or anxiety often referred to in Buddhism as such. Normal. There are techniques to learn how to be with these normal feelings, whether they're very intense or not.
Soteria House was a project that ran from 1971-1983. The staff cared for people who were diagnosed schizophrenic and compared outcomes with the local psychiatric hospital. It was a drug free rehabilitation. (drugs were used in just 3% of cases and only very temporarily) Soteria house was created for those diagnosed as schizophrenic, but it’s progenies have worked with all sort of people labeled “seriously mentally ill,” with similar startling results:
I did just about every elimination diet out there (over a period of 15 years). These thoughts come mostly from a few years ago as I started to eat more of everything again…I am still learning to eat well for this moment now. Food, diet and mindfulness all go together in my world. This is... Continue Reading →
I want to share this old video: madness, diversity and inclusivity. It's general message is especially important now with all the division we are facing societally. If you're interested in more YouTube talks, please let me know.
There's still time to apply for Mad Camp in Northern California in July. Madcamp.net for all the information you need. Also: Apply here https://forms.gle/sUMwbJSR18qEeon5Ahttp://madcamp.net/SUBSCRIBE https://madcamp.substack.com/ Join us for a 5 day summer camp!Mad Camp 2023 and 2024 were absolute amazing smash successes! AND 2025!!! So YES let’s do it again everyone! July 16-20 2026! APPLY... Continue Reading →
Here is to being nobody with everybody! Yes a celebration of being a nobody. To grasp our nobodyness and celebrate it seems to be at the essence of successful nonhierarchical living. If we all understand and embraced the nobody nature of our existence things would be different. Granted, it's only something to think about since as we, as western people, are about as far away from embracing this deeply as is possible. We might say our lack of understanding our nobodyness is what is ailing us in the most profound way.
The video shows me doing yoga as needed: Cobra on a park bench and then I did a little cat cow too. I incorporate my yoga into every moment of daily life so that there is no separation as I slowly rehab over and over again.
New Post when I'm in guidance there is no thought whatsoever. I watch and learn. My body is a channel of the divine. This is the nature of the surrendered path I live. the above is true, while I am also in a hell realm most of the time. So it's hard to explain to people. I learn all about humanity, however from here. We really cannot know ourselves without a deep dive into shadow. I, for whatever reason, was called to the fringes of the human experience...all with the afflicted body being mirror for the human condition and that which is happening on the planet right now.
