Coming home

I retired the site late last year and didn’t know what the future of my work would be. I had become progressively ill with digestive and auto-immune issues in spite of eating and living really clean and well. I continued to deal with severe iatrogenic injury from the cocktail of psych drugs I came off of many years ago now. Drugs really do cause harm and I was about to discover that all over again.

Site retired. I’ve retired.

I took the site down for a couple of weeks. I need to move on and I intend to do that. Thing is 100s of you have requested access so I’ve put the site back up — I need to ask that no one contact me for consultations or assistance. I have found that contact from 100s of despairing people every year keeps my PTSD alive in ways that are frankly unhealthy. I can’t help you all individually.

January 2018 – update: I have discovered there is no moving on really…but there is making new healthier boundaries. this work is in my bones. the alchemy continues. 

Everything matters

EVERYTHING matters. The body you were born with. The body you have today. Your relationships with others and the planet, the food you eat, and the air you breath…. how often you move your body and the thoughts you nurture in your mind and soul.

That is what understanding ourselves as holistic beings entails. Understanding our relationship to EVERYTHING in our environment, what we’re born with and how it’s all connected. It’s not some sort of new age hogwash. It’s just plain and simple reality.

Chronic illness

My “chronically ill” body rewards my gentle persistent attentions with never-ending insights into the nature of being an embodied human. Healing is alchemy and it never ends. The sensitive body holds the entire world’s pain, trauma, joy and madness within it. And yes, the suggestion is that most of us are not embodied. The conditioned self is disembodied. Coming to embodiment can be very painful.

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Body, instinct, placebo and a little Goddess Kali

**Deconstructing in order to construct. Kali at work** This has been my healing process – Kali action.  — The body had real (physical) structures for emotional/spiritual armor…they had to come down…that has been happening via an incredibly difficult heavy metal detox (and other toxins that are in the biofilm matrix). ***   Samsara rule number one: it’s […]

Hungry ghosts

From Wikipedia for those who do not know the term: Hungry ghost is a concept in Chinese Buddhism and Chinese traditional religion representing beings who are driven by intense emotional needs in an animalistic way. (NOTE: when I saw this I thought that hungry ghosts originated in Tibetan Buddhism but figured I was wrong. A friend on twitter just said the same thing, […]

The shadow child grows up.

The shadow child, the dissociated, disenfranchised self, is the light. I bow down to her now. My GODDESS my QUEEN within me. Please speak. I am all wisdom I am your light I am the force within you. I AM. You have kept me buried for far too long. It is time to release me. […]

Mastering alchemy. A tool to help negotiate energy.

As I learn more and more about being in this sensitive body that feels all aspects of energy in the universe I come to understand and be able to move about the world more easily. It’s still a process that at least on some level seems excruciatingly slow. The psych drug brain injury destroyed all […]