Since I frequent disability circles I often hear about how annoying and traumatic it can be to be told "just practice yoga." I get it. Yoga is often touted as a cure all from people who know absolutely nothing about disability and chronic illness. Yoga has been a way for me to find and practice peace and healing while still being profoundly disabled. You can both be disabled and be a yogi!
I haven't been able to smile in about 6 years. My face is disfigured essentially, even though just to look at it you might not know. But not being able to smile is a disfigurement. When you can't smile, there are oodles of things you cannot communicate.
Those considered mad have always been the sensitives who cannot stand by and watch the vast deceit among humanity without becoming ill. They are the shadow of humanity in motion to remind us…to beckon us back. Start listening to the mad ones. Childhood neglect and abuse of all kinds change the body. This must be appreciated if we ever want to heal the human family. The homeless, the incarcerated, the “mentally ill”, so-called addicts etc. are all traumatized and have injured nervous systems. We’re participating in murder when we ignore this. The biology of it isn’t understood yet. We have bodies that experience everything we do. When we can’t process what comes in because of overwhelm the microbiome and nervous systems develop issues that are correlate to the emotional impacts of our lives.
This is how to use the site Many people still ask me for my “protocols.” The message I communicate for healing is that we are all different and our paths are also, therefore, going to be endlessly diverse. I share my experience, not so that it may be copied, but so that the reader can get a sense of process.
Waking up and healing the body of autoimmune, chronic illness etcetera - are destructive processes that then require rebuilding of both body & psyche. Healing, as an act of both destruction and creation, requires Kali energy. I was not consciously aware of this when she first entered my life. ...
Neuroplasticity: enormous implications for anyone who has been labeled with a psychiatric illness -- That's us, the readers of this blog...going against paradigm and healing ourselves with openness and conscientiousness. These are qualities that can be contagious. Right now we operate in a society telling us we don't know what we're doing...or that what we are doing is "woo." Just think what happens when people start understanding what is possible. Others will start to open up and see the possibilities too. This is why education and sharing our journeys are both critically important. None of what we do is unscientific by the way, it's just that science doesn't know how to measure what we're doing...
"spiritual"? I can see that one might see psychosis as a form of altered consciousness or heightened awareness- although I'm not sure of what- but how does one square this with so much of the trauma associated with florid psychotic features? Mary's response: You have asked the $64 question indeed.
pdate 2026: psych drugs cause metabolic issues. some of them are serious and life-threatening. I watched a lot of clients die because the system does not care enough to help folks understand what these drugs do to our bodies long-term. As I watched, at first confounded, and then as I became aware, furious, I realized that I was going down the same path as my clients. The tragic reality was that I could make choices to get out and change and they could not. I live to this day with that being the reality of my life. I am now financially ruined from medical bills that are not covered by insurance and I cannot get the care I need. Still, I remain in a relatively privileged position compared to the folks I was serving. The injustices that this world imposes upon some of us is beyond comprehension. It keeps me walking this walk in the hope to find something that can help both me, my friends and all of the most dispossessed among us. Learning to pay attention to my blood sugar early on in my coming off helped me learn to listen to my body. It was only one thing I learned about and I don’t actually think about it much these days. At the time I learned about it and started experimenting with my body it was critically helpful information. The Lyme disease and how I’ve had to go about treating that has made me gain weight again. That has been done mindfully and in accordance to what my body has needed to survive treatment. Life is hard and much of what we’d like to control we cannot. The practice of harm reduction applied to all of my life, not just psych drug use, has helped me navigate the difficult times.
Many 1000s are sickened by psych drugs, but millions are saved? Is that a valid argument? I had an online conversation with a psychiatrist the other day. We were talking about benzo withdrawal. His bottom-line argument against my cautions about the dangers of benzo use and withdrawal was that those who get sick are in an insignificant minority and therefore everything I said was fear-mongering. Period. The fact that many 1000s of people get sick in withdrawal compared to the millions who are "saved" means that those of us who are ill are simply to be written off as people with bad luck. Too bad, you're sick, the miracle that is benzodiazepine helps most people.
Fibromyalgia and bipolar being associated with one another and it's undeniable that people with both diagnosis are common. What is not being looked at is the fact that many people develop fibromyalgia symptoms (chronic pain) as a result of psychotropic drug use. Where I see it most often is among people who've made the connection in withdrawal groups online. It often clears up after one is free and clean from the drugs for some time.
The doctor who hears voices ~~ I'd heard about this documentary when if was aired on British TV. It's about a woman who has a diagnosis of psychosis and her therapist works through it without meds. The woman happens to be a medical student/doctor in a teaching hospital. It's a good film and very provocative. I hope it can start a discussion.
my natural authentic self makes most people uncomfortable… I actually once believed that waking up, being aware and being oneself openly and honestly would create a person that everyone could not help but adore…. oh well, don't believe the hype. Just being yourself in a world that tries to control your every move is not straightforward or easy.
Shadow world -- new post https://monicacassani.com/2026/07/11/shadow-world/
This was first posted at All Signal, the site I hope to transition to. In the meantime if something also pertains to this site I am cross posting. This post has been edited and updated for Beyond Meds. As I continue dealing with the biofilm of multiple systemic infections, metals continue to be part of the picture. Nickel, is a heavy metal that remains largely neglected and can be incorporated into biofilm.
So here is an interesting tidbit. I have multiple systemic infections (I got a Lyme diagnosis…) … weird thing is that the person I get on with the best has HIV. He found my published work on Lyme and Tardyve dyskinesia and contacted me because it was so resonant for him. He is a 25 year old man . Multiple systemic infections are what is happening to a lot of people. Only some of us get diagnosed but they can be as diverse as “HIV” and “Lyme.” Chronic Illness, Lyme, HIV -- endless manifestations: diagnosis not so important The real issue is that chronic illness, in general, is slowly killing millions but only some of us get diagnosed and treatment is pretty much shit when it’s complex and includes neuro issues. The diagnosis are pretty meaningless, as all those impacted have unique manifestations. It seems clearer and clearer that we’re dealing with systemic infections pretty much across the board with chronic illnesses of all kinds.
This is a listing of many of the posts that have aphorisms and slightly longer meanderings. Many of them were first conceived in conversations on the then Twitter platform. It is not exhaustive. With close to 6000 posts it's hard to organize the work.
“To be Christ oneself is the true following of Christ.” -- Carl G. Jung, The Red Book: Liber Novus Ha! I have the Red Book but I haven't read it word for word and I was not aware of this statement. For some years now I've been saying "we are the second coming of Christ".
I've been asking the question for many years: Who am I? Who am I without my work? Without my family? Without my sexuality? Without my home? Who am I without my country? Without the ground beneath my feet? Who am I without these varieties of identity that obscure the view? Identity obscures the view.
From my notes: Transformative Deconditioning - musings for the apocalypse Detox isn’t just about the psych drugs (or environmental toxins etc etc) it’s from our entire system and culture…it’s a long process…most people don’t really understand how deeply holistic and systemic the need for detoxification (de-conditioning) is… psych drugs for some of us are the straw that breaks the camels back… we have layers and layers to free ourselves from..drug freedom is just one piece of it and may come at anytime. We can do the work on or off these substances…
