"I know this may sound strange but so often what we are reacting to is not being able to tolerate what is happening in our own sensations, emotions and experiences. We react to get rid of the feeling, to push away the sensations, because they are associated with something intolerable, painful and uneasy."
We're all selfish human beings in training to become the lovers we are as well. The surviving animal must be "selfish." As we come out of pure survival, the species depends on us becoming lover. Love madly, passionately, indiscriminately. Start with your own selfish self. *** let go. let go. let go. *** In surrender... Continue Reading →
The last few months have been hellish and difficult. As you may have noticed I stopped posting altogether for a while. I've moved to a new state and am now starting a new life with my partner, Paul Woodward and our three four-leggeds. I am blessed on this planet that includes heaven and hell in... Continue Reading →
did you know that daffodils are narcissus flowers?
Narcissism is a coping strategy for when one has been wounded in profound ways. Anyone who makes it in this world has to find some sort of narcissism in order to heal. What gets called malignant narcissism is only one manifestation. Survival demands narcissism. ...
I can’t not be me now, all of me. It’s all out there, no mask, no pretence, no condition shoulds or ways of being other than this. There is only so much space and time available to put myself into a straight jacket of someone else’s making. And so that requires of them the letting go of expectations and projections. It requires of them to relate with me in the now, in the present moment, in the rawness of life, in the truth of life. It requires of them to let go of any ideas of me and be with the reality of me. Anything else and it falls apart, anything else and it’s untruth burns brightly. Anything else and it gets shown for what it is... the conditioning of shoulds. I ask for authentic relating but I give it too, not as a virtue signal, a choice or a practice, but because life gives no other option, even when honestly I'd love an option to turn it off, turn it down!
Happiness can coexist with despair. It really can. We need to stop having such narrow view of what happiness is. Being human is a rough ride ~ when we embrace the despair the happiness is a byproduct... The capitalistic marketing of happiness works like this: make everyone who feels anything other than happy believe that... Continue Reading →
I do it for myself but equally and sometimes more importantly I share as a role model for vulnerable people who might not otherwise trust themselves to do what they need to do in a world where not only have our needs never been met but we've also been harmed repeatedly when we've gone the route that the establishment tells us to go. We are on our own and we can still heal. Sometimes, really, I share only for this reason and not so much for me at all. I know that people don't always like it and that I make people uncomfortable sometimes and that is my service to others who really need to see that we can do things in spite of those who do not and cannot understand us. ...
If you're dealing with the trauma in your life and you're denying racism you're not really dealing with trauma. Trauma is inter-generational among other things. What white people did to black people in enslaving, murdering and raping them is still in the bodies of every ancestor.
That means the trauma of what we did to an entire population in this country is in the body if you're black and it's in the body if we're descended from the white people who raped, murdered and enslaved the black folk who are still being harmed.
As white witnesses of white supremacist public policies it's in every white person who has privilege. Yes, it's in my body too. Own this shit and allow our beautiful black brothers and sisters to heal. Acknowledge that it's still happening and get started. #BlackLivesMatter
I was on elimination diets for a long time and needed to be in order to quiet down the chaos in my body. I now know more than when I started and hope that the general method of learning to listen is helpful to others since I know the details will be different for everyone. Recently I went through a stint of eating lots of gluten and cheese as I add many different foods I avoided for many years back into my diet. I jokingly call it "retoxification." ...
Learning about how to listen to the body takes time. Small things we can start paying attention to help. *** It's best when we can taste our medicine which is one fundamentally critical difference from pharma. Herbs and food have taste that prepare the body for what is coming. And as we pay attention over... Continue Reading →