I am responsible. I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.

An ancient Hawaiian tradition:
“In these communities no one was considered an isolated individual. Every single person was a member of the interdependent community and bloodline. Every single person in some way or another represented their clan/family/lineage/village. – So If one single person behaved criminally then the whole family, clan and village felt they were responsible for that behaviour. A criminal action belonged to and was the responsibility of the whole community. – If there was a wrongdoing therefore the whole family and village would come out to take responsibility for it, to redress it and to heal it.” … [click on title to read and view more]

Why your worst deeds don’t define you

Almost everyone in prison is redeemable says Shaka Shengor. I agree. Our prison system is profoundly sickening and it’s a reflection of our culture at large. Traumatic and violent culture, people hurting and suffering without love and care from the time they’re little children. We see here that this man is just like everyone of us…in part, a product of where he found himself and becoming conscious allowed him to heal. We are all capable of such transformation. … [click on title to read and view more]

Finding the good in those we love

So the question is: Are you willing to put up with your partner’s bad qualities? If you’re not, leave. But the bad qualities are the test of the relationship; your commitment is to their bad qualities. You don’t have to commit to their good stuff. You just do that, that’s pleasant. If somebody wants to cook me dinner, how much of a commitment does it take to show up? Right? Or having my laundry done. I can deal with that. I can show up for that any time you want. … [click on title for the rest of the post]

The heart of forgiveness

This is a very sophisticated treatment that looks at many of the questions people have when contemplating the forgiveness of those who’ve harmed us, sometimes very badly. … [click on title to read the rest]

Some thoughts on forgiveness

By Rick Belden — Forgiveness requires an end to the cycle of wounding — Sometimes the only viable path to forgiveness is to remove ourselves from those who continue to cause us harm despite our best efforts to communicate our needs clearly and maintain healthy boundaries. By taking care of ourselves and ending the cycle of wounding, we can establish a safe distance from those who have injured us, allowing ourselves to move through the old hurts and toward greater understanding and forgiveness without constantly being re-injured by new hurts that feel just like the old ones. … [click title to read the whole article]

Finding the Good in People We Love

So the question is: Are you willing to put up with your partner’s bad qualities? If you’re not, leave. But the bad qualities are the test of the relationship; your commitment is to their bad qualities. You don’t have to commit to their good stuff. You just do that, that’s pleasant. If somebody wants to cook me dinner, how much of a commitment does it take to show up? Right? Or having my laundry done. I can deal with that. I can show up for that any time you want.

The Heart of Forgiveness

This is a very sophisticated treatment that looks at many of the questions people have when contemplating the forgiveness of those who’ve harmed us, sometimes very badly.