We are kaleidoscopic beings -- endlessly variant. Social, political, psychological, ecological, cultural, biological all having impact. When we don't engage our kaleidoscopic reality in a very active way - thinking we understand anything at all is ridiculous. Everything Matters -- it's the meme I use as a title for my work because it encapsulates our essence..
For people like me it is illness that calls us to wellness and waking up. Thank god for Dr. Google. Seriously. And to hell with those who glance side-ways at those of us who've learned to doctor ourselves. We commit *science* via observations of our own bodies everyday. We learn by coming up with hypothesis and... Continue Reading →
This healing process is a vehicle to awakening. All of it can be put to good use and given what an ugly experience it often is, it's the silver lining. ...
Seems my thoughts as they've pertained to my healing process have been essentially planted by life-force so that I would achieve through my responses to my somatic experience, what was needed in order to heal the whacked out nervous system, gut, and immune systems etc. Never has it mattered if anything was clinically true or not...what mattered was that the narrative made sense to my ego so that I would follow directions and ultimately heal. ...
update 2026: I grew up in a time when people with what would now be labeled "high functioning" autism were completely ignored. I was a very good student. Good students who had what might now be labeled autism got put into "gifted" classes and were largely left alone in the agonies they faced. I learned expert masking techniques and knew how to stay out of trouble by pleasing the adults around me. Fawning is what it's called in trauma circles. I might be glad about that now. I really don't want a label. Autism seems to work for lots of sensitives but I still feel like it's a one way ticket into psychiatric care and thus, I will stay out here watching the chaos label free as long as possible. This post discusses a very important issue that is simply not widely understood by pretty much anyone in mental health circles...critical or otherwise. I look to these injuries from many different frames and windows...this one comes up again and again for me whenever I encounter autistic folks. I found this article at Mad in America quite fascinating and on point. I hadn't heard the term pseudo-autism but it's exactly my experience too...
There is a direct correlation between the healing of my physical body to my capacity to access more of my psyche and thus heal it too. The psychiatric drugs damaged my body in such a way as to further obfuscate the issues they were prescribed to treat. It’s astonishing really how obvious it becomes when one becomes conscious during this healing process. ...
