“Pseudo-Autism” as a result of psych drug injury

And here I am remembering that, despite the fact that I have always avoided socialising with kids mom ( and older people in general) did not approve of ( not because I did not approve of them, but in order to avoid the “jobation” regarding who to hang out with), the first time that I recall really enjoying – and insisting on –
playing on my own was in the kindergarten, when I came back there after some virus or something (could have been bronchitic asthma, too), which obviously seemed strange to my kindergarten teacher, too, since she mentioned it to my mother. My diagnosis, of course, is OCD, but it kind of manifests as autism (=I avoid eye contact for fear that people might guess my intrusive thoughts, which I do understand that it is highly unlikely to happen, but, still, that one percent possibility of that happening, keeps torturing me) – please forgive my english, I have forgotten much of it, since it is not my first language.

Since stopping 6 unnecessary psych drugs in 2008, which took 18 months, I know I have become “slightly autistic” as I refer to it. I’ve never been properly tested, just done online tests which report I’m on the aspergers end of the spectrum. Though I know this isn’t a reliable indicator it was interesting. Stopping psych meds exacerbated traits that have always been with me since birth, things I learned to account for and work around, but are now much more pronounced.

9 years later I still can’t watch anything on TV without captions because, even though it’s in English I can’t understand what people are saying unless I can also read it at the same time. I interrupt on the phone because I can’t see the speaker’s face. Now I know what “stimming” is I realize I’ve done it all my life, but it’s much more difficult to control, as are repetitive behaviours that are new since coming off pych meds. Just some tiny examples of many odd things.

The way I see it in my layperson’s mind, I have an auto-immune illness that was caused by coming off psych meds. I sense/feel that much of my illness is in my gut, and this in turn affects my brain. It’s my simplistic understanding that 10-years of psych meds rewired my brain somehow, which affected my gut, which in turn affected my immune system. With the help of an integrative rheumatologist with a PhD in immunology I’m very, very slowly improving, so slowly I don’t notice unless I look back 6 months. It’s very interesting and makes a lot of sense to me reading about emerging research into the role of the gut in all this.