Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes. - Walt Whitman I needed to share Walt as I write from several different physiologies, thus perhaps appear inconsistent. It is my reality, however -- as my physiology switches so does my reality. *** I may be awake, I... Continue Reading →
Trust your exhaustion. Take a rest. A nap. STOP. It's okay. It's good to listen to the body. *** Both silence and stillness can be found in all movement and noise as well... silence and stillness are foundational...we need not stop doing anything nor do anything in particular to find them. *** I've been spending... Continue Reading →
Part of the success of this website has been my willingness (and need) to speak things that many of my readers were thinking but not yet saying. As I've gotten deeper into my trauma release and healing I've backed away from this site in many regards and ventured into dark areas of the psyche which even many people who had followed me for a long time no longer wanted to partake in. I've continued to post difficult material much of which continues to be trauma release, both for myself and for those who also, like me have wandered far into the abyss, by necessity, for their healing. Most of the people I've had the privilege of helping on this site have a radically different history than I've had. This is rarely acknowledged or understood. Most of the people with histories like mine are totally and completely swallowed by psychiatry and lost forever. I don't actually know anyone like me who has made it as far as I have off the drugs etc. It's a tragedy that hurts me. And so...this site, in part, is trauma release in the internet age.
I lay awake at 2:20 am this morning after going to bed at 8 pm. I was feeling a bit forlorn and I've had a really rough, homeless several months. Things are calming down now and I have a place to live for now but the chaos lingers in my body as it continues to... Continue Reading →