I AM WHAT I AM

Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes. – Walt Whitman

I needed to share Walt as I write from several different physiologies, thus perhaps appear inconsistent. It is my reality, however — as my physiology switches so does my reality.

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I may be awake, I am also more dead than alive as I continue to purge the detritus from my unlived/toxic pharma dominated life out of my cells. It is the somatic imperative. It is all I do that I may live before this body leaves this plane.

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I’ve spent over a decade cleaning out the environmental toxins, infection and whatever else my toxic body held onto as a result of pharma poisoning. It’s become clear that sensitivities to food, and yes, that includes GLUTEN and DAIRY were caused by environmental toxicity.

I can now eat just about any food (at the right time since bodies change and need different things at different times, different seasons, etc). I remain sensitive to chemicals and additives and so I simply eat whole real food and don’t drink chlorine and do the best I can in a toxic world. No pHARMa.

I have come back from the dead and I am a living miracle. I am awake and I annoy the crap out of people because I AM WHAT I AM.

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In response to the above tweets:

bodies hold trauma in different ways – some of it’s different than any one person can appreciate…some peoples trauma & the way they hold it is so off the charts that they get relegated to being homeless, “mentally ill”, incarcerated…we’re a eugenics loving people.

We allow people we don’t understand to die. We cut them off and let them die. In a lot of different ways.

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it hurts like a mf. my nervous system does… as it sees clearly. seriously. off the charts. most people have no idea what this sort of pain is like. least of all, all the spiritual sorts who claim pain doesn’t have to have a hold of us.

this pain is the ugly in humanity embodied via micro-organism along with pharmaceutical destruction of the nervous system. it’s unprecedented. A thing that exists only now in human history. Most people simply never feel it. Period. So they kill off those of us who do. The sensitives have been dying for humanity for too long. This has gone on since the beginning of but now with environmental toxicity it reaches new heights. It must end. We are creating a population of throw-away human beings and society is destroying them with glee.

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there are no words for the mystery. getting hung up on your own or the words of others is an attachment. the mystery will not be spoken.

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we’re all afraid to actually talk to one another. it’s really getting tiresome. we don’t have to agree and we can still have respectful if also sometimes charged conversations. It’s actually invigorating and lovely. This is my Italian nature and current dominant culture hates me.

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“In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look & learn, the door is there & the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself” J. Krishnamurti (I read everything I could find by K at 16. Yeah, he influenced me)

This was pre-internet . I found him in our small local library. There were several of his books in the collection – I read every one of them as though there was no tomorrow. Then I collapsed in what seemed my first dark night. It was a heavy introduction to what would be my life

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See: Choice and emotion: a short essay with some musing

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thank you for being who you are out in the open…we need everyone to be unapologetically themselves even as we learn to be more skillful…let us be human together.

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