Excuse my language

I'm so fucking disoriented I think I took my Valium twice tonight. I'm alone this weekend. Sent Paul off to New York where he could participate in a conference for his work. He hesitated to leave me alone and I convinced him to go. The last thing I want is for him to feel he... Continue Reading →

An open letter about debilitating chronic illness (mine caused by psych med detox)

I found this written by a woman name Ricky Buchanan. I've discovered by creeping around the CFS and Fibromyalgia boards online that my day to day lived reality is like theirs. I am agnostic about giving myself such a label but I gain much support and don't feel as alone when I interact with people... Continue Reading →

The 39 psychotropic drugs I’ve taken

It's potentially dangerous to come off psychiatric drugs rapidly. For guidance in safer withdrawal methods see here. You think maybe something wasn’t quite right? This journey started the summer of 1985 and is about to end this summer of 2009. I have been withdrawing the past 5 years. Nothing ever did work and in retrospect... Continue Reading →

This ain’t no psych ward, nor is it a traditional detox but I still feel like shit

Okay. I've arrived. I actually came in yesterday as the trip here--two days in the car, was rough. I feel a bit like I'm in the twilight zone. In some good ways, and some not so good. The first thing I did before entering the center was go see a doc. She was the most... Continue Reading →

Severity Of Post-Stay Depression in ICU May Be Predicted By Use Of Benzodiazepines

This of course comes as no surprise to those of us who have suffered at the hand of benzos. Especially those of us who have only taken benzos. These docs should be querying us---they would learn sooo much!! We KNOW that benzos cause depression in a good percentage of anyone using benzos not just those... Continue Reading →

Brief benzodiazepine withdrawal update

As most of you know I've withdrawn from 50 mg Seroquel, 400 mg Lamictal, 84 mg Concerta, 11 mg Risperdal and 200 mg of Zoloft in the last 5 years. I'm down to getting rid of the Klonopin that I was on up to 6 mg a day, but only addicted to 3 mg. (only,... Continue Reading →

Getting better?!! The ongoing Klonopin-Valium crossover.

Alas, I can say I've improved. What does improvement mean when I still can't stand for more than ten minutes, I cannot drive, I am so weak that phone conversations or company wears me out within 1/2 an hour and that's when I'm doing well? What does improvement mean when I wake up nauseous and... Continue Reading →

Half-way point

As most of you know I'm doing a Klonopin/Valium crossover. I got to the half-way point last night. I started with 2 mg of Klonopin and the goal is to switch to the equivalent dose of Valium which is 40 mg in order to then withdraw from Valium which has a much smoother withdrawal process... Continue Reading →

Brief update—in search of homecare

Things continue to be rough with the Valium crossover. I stopped until I stabilized a few days ago and then cut by only .125 mg of Klonopin and added 2.5 mg of the corresponding equivalency of Valium. I've been pretty out of it again and I cut the dose of the exchange in half and... Continue Reading →

Valium crossover insanity

Okay, I think I finally have the peace of mind to be able to write a bit about what is happening with me. I'm not really sure how clear I can be because I'm sort of in the thick of it but I'm having a bit of a reprieve. I need to take this moment... Continue Reading →

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