Battle of the disabilities

Battle of the disabilities: I hardly ever get out of the house. I have tics and strange movements and I often have a raging swollen face and mouth due to the infection and tardive dyskinesia that causes the tics and movements and general disability. I look bad, I move funny and I make weird noises. Very occasionally it's all quiet enough that I venture out among the cruel humans, those members of our species, that make people whom they perceive as odd feel really bad for existing.

Understanding ‘Disability’ – Carts of Darkness Film

Rational discussion and framing of issues is important, but the lived reality of disability, madness, and psychiatric abuse are felt and emotional. I came across this online film you can watch: Carts of Darkness. I don't want to give away too much, and I encourage you to watch it without reading the synopsis. But the film... Continue Reading →

About debilitating chronic illness (including protracted psych drug withdrawal)

Update 2026: as a piece of internet history I will remind folks that in 2009 we were only beginning to understand what the internet could do. at that point the networking that was happening had never happened before and it was thrilling. I found this written by a woman name Ricky Buchanan. I've discovered by... Continue Reading →

homecare: the perfect physical therapist

When she showed up she interviewed me carefully about all my daily activities and asked detailed questions about how my body felt. She then laid me down on my bed and started moving me about. She told me symptoms and the way my body felt was very much like someone with severe MS. Yes, multiple sclerosis. She said she didn't care what caused my problem. I had to be treated like a baby who needed to learn how to use all their muscles again. She propped me up on pillows in a systematic fashion on my bed and had me do "exercises" that most people would scoff at. I cried with relief because she understood how sick I was. She understood I can hardly do anything at all and I really desperately need help so that I don't become a vegetable. She GOT IT. frankly, I get really, really scared sometime that if I atrophy away I won't be able to come back.

Normal?? Me?

The other day I made a comment on Polly's blog, polarcoaster on this post. I said that my mood ranges these days were "in the realm of normal." I've spent the last couple of days wondering what that meant and whether or not others who read my blog might agree. What might be more precise... Continue Reading →

New Psychiatrist

I'm seeing a "holistic, orthomolecular" psychiatrist next week. When I asked her if she was willing to keep up with my disability paperwork if I chose to have her as my primary psychiatrist, her response was: "Well, you won't be needing disability once you've withdrawn." This assuming I follow her advice about how else to... Continue Reading →

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