Part of the success of this website has been my willingness (and need) to speak things that many of my readers were thinking but not yet saying. As I've gotten deeper into my trauma release and healing I've backed away from this site in many regards and ventured into dark areas of the psyche which even many people who had followed me for a long time no longer wanted to partake in. I've continued to post difficult material much of which continues to be trauma release, both for myself and for those who also, like me have wandered far into the abyss, by necessity, for their healing. Most of the people I've had the privilege of helping on this site have a radically different history than I've had. This is rarely acknowledged or understood. Most of the people with histories like mine are totally and completely swallowed by psychiatry and lost forever. I don't actually know anyone like me who has made it as far as I have off the drugs etc. It's a tragedy that hurts me. And so...this site, in part, is trauma release in the internet age.
I lay awake at 2:20 am this morning after going to bed at 8 pm. I was feeling a bit forlorn and I've had a really rough, homeless several months. Things are calming down now and I have a place to live for now but the chaos lingers in my body as it continues to... Continue Reading →
did you know that daffodils are narcissus flowers?
Narcissism is a coping strategy for when one has been wounded in profound ways. Anyone who makes it in this world has to find some sort of narcissism in order to heal. What gets called malignant narcissism is only one manifestation. Survival demands narcissism. ...
I was on elimination diets for a long time and needed to be in order to quiet down the chaos in my body. I now know more than when I started and hope that the general method of learning to listen is helpful to others since I know the details will be different for everyone. Recently I went through a stint of eating lots of gluten and cheese as I add many different foods I avoided for many years back into my diet. I jokingly call it "retoxification." ...
This bodymind named Ingrid has so much to say…and what seeks expression is not just for the sake of my own healing, but to serve as a beacon for anyone on a similar path, who needs to know they are not alone. Mine is a path of emerging from profound trauma, adversity, and lack, and of living in the world as highly sensitive, gifted, neurodiverse, and spiritually awakening. We are the people who so often find ourselves in the offices of professional helpers…and I will write for them, too, as it is imperative that those who would presume to walk with us, understand what actually helps…and be willing to challenge that which does not…even though this will take them straight into the heart of their own pain....
Self-medicating? everyone self medicates. A healing diet is a form of self-medication, so is listening to calming music, or going running and doing yoga. And sure, so is downing a bottle of wine, smoking or doing any other substance for the purpose of easing ones emotional state. Self-medicating is totally normal. Learning to do it skillfully is the intent of a harm reduction practice. We're creatures that survive by ingesting substances of all kinds...food and herbs included. Only thing wrong is that we've not been allowed be ourselves and learn to listen to our bodies. ...
1. We admitted we were powerless — we have no ultimate control over anything and this body will die one day. We are fighting this fact in one way or another. This fight is insane because it’s in contradiction to reality.
2. Came to believe that Nature could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to life-force as we understand it
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
5 Shared our pain/trauma with life-force, ourselves, and with friends.
6. Were entirely ready to have life-force transform all our trauma. ...
thank you to Lee Hodges, Store Manager at Lowe's Home Improvement -- from Linked In. I was so pleased to see someone who isn't clearly in the world of mental health speaking up for folks. Lee Hodges said: I've seen a lot of nasty posts in regards to people making "non-essential" trips .. Do you... Continue Reading →
Somatic mysticism, diet and returning to my ancestry.... I like using “somatic mysticism” to explain my experience because I feel everything deeply in my body. I can feel my cells doing their work quite often and I feel all manner of metabolic movement and I feel far more than I can even begin to really... Continue Reading →
Back to normal? This is the world I know....thank god others are waking up to the destruction humanity has wrought. The air is clean, the animals are returning to places they've not been for decades.
I've been in isolation for over a decade with no appropriate medical care. This is my third pandemic as well. The AIDS pandemic...I worked at the beginning when young men were dying like flies. And the pandemic of murder by psychiatric meds. Going on everyday and denied by most. This is my life in isolation. I haven't been pretending the world isn't falling apart.
Maybe others will join us now...those of us who are paying attention. Let it be.