Paradox rules: life on the razor’s edge (updated)

My healing process is intense and relentless. I hit crises with some regularity and I go into an altered state in which the body knows exactly what to do to take care of it and slowly the body heals. The body does know what it's doing. Yes. Conditioned mind just needs to get out of... Continue Reading →

Their trauma is not an excuse to be a shitty person to you. Really?

Actually it kind of is. Certain kinds of trauma hack the nervous system in such a way that drama ensues even in light of awareness. Then it's just your job to steer clear with great compassion and love in your heart. People who treat others badly because of their own trauma do need to become aware and avoid situations where they act like assholes until they better understand and are able to not behave in that way. We can help them by making clear boundaries while minimizing our judgments. ...

Trauma patterning and raving loonies

"I’d much rather be with a raving loony who was directly confronting their bullshit than someone who spends all their energy repressing it. The cloaking thing always strikes a tinny note that would register as jarring and discordant to anyone able to “hear” it." -Jed McKenna .....

Rabbit holes and multidimensional reality…

It boils down to rabbit holes. If it's not one rabbit hole it will be another. Everyone stuck in a rabbit hole is in the dark. EVERYONE. The entire human species is in agony and trying to heal. There are, however, rabbit holes within rabbit holes. It's a rough ride for everyone. Ask yourself, what rabbit hole or holes am I in? ...

#WORLDBENZODAY — Recovery is hard. Healing is hard. It’s also beautiful. Hang in there.

 When medicine and doctors almost kill you…  Because, yeah, I was on death’s door for a long, long time. It can still feel traumatic to really think about that time and continues to be trauma inducing.  I do hope we can help others avoid such a fate.

Benzodiazepine Awareness with Geraldine Burns–podcast

From Geraldine, a long-time friend and a generous and knowledgeable leader in the benzo withdrawal community...she really publicly started and got withdrawal issues on the map for all of us regardless of what psychiatric pharmaceutical we're withdrawing from. thank you, Dear Geraldine: With this being the week of World Benzodiazepine Awareness Day on July 11th... Continue Reading →

Rest in peace my dear friend and comrade in madness…Ian Scheffel (formerly Bill Scheffel)

my beautiful friend (Ian) Bill Scheffel died a year ago yesterday. I was happy to be reminded of this piece I put up in tribute to him. It includes a piece he wrote that is a lovely way to remember him. Please visit the site and read his words and celebrate him in your hearts as I do today. These were my words in memory of him and introducing his piece. Ian was the third musketeer of Mad Spiritual. His death is largely why we’ve never really gotten it off the ground…we’re missing a limb…and still healing:

Editors comment (Everything Matters, Beyond Meds): Ian (formerly Bill) Scheffel was my friend and he was my partner along with Chris Cole in the project I’ve mentioned a couple of times.  Ian and Chris Cole and I have been planning to launch something we’ve called Mad Spiritual...to celebrate and support folks who experience altered states etc.  Ian’s experience with altered states was a critically important part of who he was. Those places in the psyche from which many profound insights come… It’s unfortunate that those corners of humanity’s psyche frighten many people and so our society doesn’t yet know how to support or nurture such emergence processes.  Ian was moving in and out of those spaces lately.  He is a beautiful, loving man who saw into the nature of humanity in ways that became hard to manage. It doesn’t feel like he was escaping but continuing on his particular journey. Thich Nhat Hanh has said about self-immolation that it should not be considered suicide in the usual sense…

“The Vietnamese monk, by burning himself, says with all his strength and determination that he can endure the greatest of suffering to protect his people. What he really aims at is the expression of his will and determination, not death. To express will by burning oneself, therefore, is not to commit an act of destruction but to perform an act of construction, that is to suffer and to die for the sake of one’s people.”  (entire letter to Marin Luther King Jr. here)

Ian was mad spiritual. I am mad spiritual. Chris too, our third partner is Mad Spiritual.  We come together to share love and support  with others like us. We are everywhere. We are an important part of the human family and our needs are not being met. There aren’t many of us who feel free to speak explicitly about such things because there is risk involved. We are not taken seriously and we are often harmed in the name of medicine. 

Ian’s suicide is a loss to the whole world and it is also the most precious of gifts. This I know. I also know that he is at peace and that peace is felt in my heart where he also abides.

The most physically palpable deeply grounded feeling I have about my friend’s suicide is that he knew what he was doing and that he is still here in my heart…holding me down, to the ground in delicious if also painful sobriety. We have work to do that the world might one day be safe for all of us. 

I am sharing an article that speaks to his life below and also reveals much about the work he and I and Chris were doing.  May Ian be remembered and celebrated now with his own words.  If you’ve never encountered Ian before,  feel free to connect with your own heart as you read his words. Let him become part of who you are too. If you knew Ian/Bill let the below bless you further with his wisdom, love and insight. Let us carry on his vision together now. 

— click through and read his article too…it’s so good and there is a link to his other work as well. He contributed so much to are collective. The human species: READ HIS WORDS once you scroll down here https://beyondmeds.com/2018/07/09/comrade-in-madness/

Everything Matters

Editors comment (Everything Matters, Beyond Meds): Ian (formerly Bill) Scheffel was my friend and he was my partner along with Chris Cole in the project I’ve mentioned a couple of times.  Ian and Chris Cole and I have been planning to launch something we’ve called Mad Spiritual...to celebrate and support folks who experience altered states etc.  Ian’s experience with altered states was a critically important part of who he was. Those places in the psyche from which many profound insights come… It’s unfortunate that those corners of humanity’s psyche frighten many people and so our society doesn’t yet know how to support or nurture such emergence processes.  Ian was moving in and out of those spaces lately.  He is a beautiful, loving man who saw into the nature of humanity in ways that became hard to manage. It doesn’t feel like he was escaping but continuing on his…

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For Independence Day: None of us are free, if one of us are chained….

a bodhisattva song for indepence day: None of us are free, if one of us are chained. We can only truly know Independence and autonomy when we appreciate our profound and fundamental interdependence. https://youtu.be/eFkmRp_G2uo None Of Us Are Free Solomon Burke One, two, three Well you better listen my sister's and brothers, 'Cause if you... Continue Reading →

We are a sensitive species who have forgotten who we are

We are by nature a sensitive species. Every last one of us. We learn through cultural conditioning to ignore and shut down what would be our highly sensitive natures -- our birthright. The conditioning we learn from our parents and our community (and the TV and internet and mass media) further encourages additional habits that appeal to us in particular. School furthers the conditioning. Later we develop more habits to reinforce the conditioning and keep ourselves numb. We use food (highly processed and toxic and developed to encourage craving), drugs (both legal and illegal), alcohol, video games, porn, TV, internet, shopping and the pursuit of more, more, more stuff to keep ourselves numb to the lies we've been told since the day we popped out of the womb. … [click on title for the rest of the post]

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