Pain and suffering: a contemplative perspective

I was called to my brothers side on August the 28th. I had ovulated two days earlier. I got my period on Tuesay the 11th two days ago. My PMS goes a day or two into my period (a thing I read is often quite normal.) Today is my first PMS free day since this... Continue Reading →

The next chapter?

So I mentioned in a comment on someone else's blog I might not continue writing. And I may not, but for the time being I will continue with the purpose of this blog which is to document my journey off meds. At the moment I'm terribly disillusioned. I have withdrawal effects that have lasted about... Continue Reading →

The morning of the memorial service

Today is the memorial service. My brother will be there in a small walnut box--ashes. I had a really ugly 36 hour stint of living hell. The grief left me inconsolable and the PMS left me pushing away everyone that loves me with a rage that made me hate virtually everyone. Talk about miserable and... Continue Reading →

Not gonna follow through

Yesterday I said I would post something light and silly today....Ha! Not an option. The last two nights I've woken up in the middle of the night crying--up for at least two hours. This morning I stayed in bed late and wished I didn't need to get up, but I had family obligations and errands... Continue Reading →

The end

My brother is dead. He died yesterday at 9:05 am after a 72 hour vigil at the hospital. I will not tell the story now and maybe never. I just wanted to check in. There are lots of family duties and the simple need today to go to the mall and buy and appropriate dress... Continue Reading →

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