Go all the way. Roll the dice.

Charles bukowski at his finest — and heck, he’s a cat person…after my own heart…cats transmit pure knowledge in my experience…it’s true. Kitties have been profound healing medicine for me from the beginning of this process. My cats Kali and Jezebel have featured on this site a few times. I now have these two lovely boys…greatly skilled healing masters, all of them.

I used to do a lot of  “just for fun” posts…here is one to make up for the several year gap! And, of course, while also fun, these poems are profound and serious, too.

At the bottom of the post is a short video with Bono reading “Roll the Dice.

Charles Bukowski and his cat


there’s a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out
but I’m too tough for him
I say, stay in there
I’m not going to let anybody see you
there’s a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out
but I pour whiskey on him ….

and inhale cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders and the grocery clerks
never know that he’s in there
there’s a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out
but I’m too tough for him
I say
stay down, do you want to mess me up?
you want to screw up the works?

you want to blow my book sales in Europe?
there’s a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out
but I’m too clever, I only let him out at night sometimes
when everybody’s asleep
I say, I know that you’re there
so don’t be sad
then I put him back
but he’s singing a little in there

I haven’t quite let him die
and we sleep together like that with our
secret pact
and it’s nice enough to make a man
but I don’t weep
do you?

(and the progression…another by Charles Bukowski)

if you’re going to try, go all the
otherwise, don’t even start.

if you’re going to try, go all the
this could mean losing girlfriends,
wives, relatives, jobs and
maybe your mind.

go all the way.

it could mean not eating for 3 or 4 days.
it could mean freezing on a
park bench.
it could mean jail,
it could mean derision,
isolation is the gift,
all the others are a test of your
endurance, of
how much you really want to
do it.

and you’ll do it
despite rejection and the worst odds
and it will be better than
anything else
you can imagine.

if you’re going to try,
go all the way.
there is no other feeling like
you will be alone with the gods
and the nights will flame with

do it, do it, do it.
do it.

all the way
all the way.

you will ride life straight to
perfect laughter, its
the only good fight
there is.

“Roll the Dice” by Charles Bukowski from What Matters Most Is How Well You Walk Through The Fire

(thank you dear brother Charles!!!)

Here is a fun reading by Bono:



For a multitude of ideas about how to create a life filled with safer alternatives to psychiatric drugs visit the drop-down menus at the top of this page. 



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2 thoughts on “Go all the way. Roll the dice.

  1. Hi Monica, Thanks for the website and the emails; really helps.  I am having a bad withdrawal from antidepressant duloxetine.  Am writing ‘go all the way’ poem on chalkboard to hang up to inspire my taper.  I am a freelance writer (used to be a carer/nurse) based in Worcester, England and write about health, well-being and community issues.  I am planning to write about dependency and withdrawal.  When I pitch to publications it helps the chances to be commissioned by including potential contributors to the article.  Would you be willing to answer a few questions? Best wishes Stuart PS I also have a cat; a black and white beauty called Kulfi. 


  2. I like this poem very much..isolation?- timely reading for me as I am dealing with this very thing as I have almost completed a five-year benzo taper and I find myself alone mostly. This used to be a state I feared but here it is, so I say bring it on – it has gifts to reveal as I am discovering. Being with oneself. Becoming self-reliant. Learning to self-sooth. Being ok with solitude. I might add that I have a zen master (cat) living with me so I am not completely alone here. Thanks for your writings Monica ~ kind regards, Glenda


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