All I ever was and had to be was sad

by Talya Eidelman It was that moment that I realized that all I ever was and had to be was sad, that everything could arise from that place. Even joy. I’m the saddest person you will ever meet. But I settled there nicely and that’s why I am passionate and light and deeply loving. The deeper I felt my sadness the more I saw that it wasn’t sadness at all, but the feeling that I was unable to love the way I wanted to. Sadness wants to love, anxiety wants to create and anger wants to make a change. Sadness is what wanting to be in a permanent state of undying love feels like. So we must meet each other in the sadness. Over and over again, until we remember…

Animals hunker down when they’re healing…they do not fight the process. Let us be like the animals.

As I surrender I find that my brain/body/ has so much healing to do still and often times that requires bed rest and total quiet even now several years into this healing process. It’s not illness when the body needs to rest…it’s the demands of healing. Highly intense metabolic processes happening that mean I simply have to stop and allow the internal processes to take over. I need to surrender to the wisdom of the body at those times. I generally don’t bother trying to explain to others anymore…not in any sort of detail. …

Remineralization…a good thing to do in preparation for drug withdrawal (as well as for general well-being)

Minerals are essential for all of our bodily functions. They are needed for bone and teeth health for our blood, skin, hair, nerve function, muscle and for all our metabolic processes. They are foundational to everything we are as physical beings. All minerals are generally in a state of depletion in modern western people because our soils suck and our food supply is so compromised in a multitude of ways.

Before withdrawing from psych meds it’s important to have some foundational well-being if at all possible so that one might mitigate severe withdrawal issues.

Psych drugs and brain damage

It’s clear to me that many of us not only heal but transform into something healthier and more whole than we ever were before psych drugs. Forget recovery…there can be much more, much better than whatever we were before psychiatry. *** There is an unfortunate belief in some parts of critical psych communities that says that the brain injury that many of us sustain as a result of psychiatric drug use and withdrawal is permanent and irreversible. That we cannot heal from it. … It’s not true.

Physical, mental, emotional – all ONE (Chinese / Ayurvedic systems have known this for millennia)

There are many access points to the whole. Sometimes people concentrate more on different access points…like the psychological, or the physical. I’ve come to concentrate on the whole shebang because I had no choice. It was what was required that I might heal. Different folks have different paths and sometimes only one access point is enough to bring about healing that allows for basic growth and functioning. The only problem is when people imagine their access point is the only one that works and get dogmatic about it. We are endlessly diverse and so there are many different ways to go. Always. …

When we are told our experience is too ugly to be heard…

In the wake of the backlash I’ve experienced from having posted: Carrie Fisher’s urn is a giant prozac pill — this is my heart-felt response I wrote:

When people are gravely harmed and they open their mouths to simply share their experience they are told they’re too extreme. …it’s a conundrum…when we are told our experience is too ugly to be heard. We are in essence being told to shut up. The mainstream narrative is dangerous when it comes to psych meds (and many other things)…this needs to be confronted. One way or another. Sometimes it’s scary. This is simply true.

I want to also say that I have great respect for Carrie Fisher who was clearly a wonderful woman who spoke her own mind. I have no bone to pick with her. I am confronting the mainstream narrative and media which will use anything to support itself. Carrie was a victim of this narrative like so many other of the people I’ve loved and lost in this world. …