the parts that hurt: email to the man who told me to go see a psychiatrist

this is a response to the (ex) mentor and friend I wrote about in this post: And recently, this happened…  I was recently hurt very badly and continue to process the betrayal:

Dear Ex – Mentor/Friend Person,

So, funnily enough, I did go to a psychiatrist. Someone I met some years ago. He’s in the mainstream and well-respected there because he knows how to float between worlds. He’s awake. He and I talked about your work some years ago. He was familiar with it and respects it. He’s one of the kindest human beings I’ve ever met.

I contacted him recently because it had been three years since I spoke to him. We had a nice chat and I remembered why I liked talking to him so much.

He validated everything I’m doing. He understands the sort of injuries these drugs cause better than anyone I’ve met even though he rubs shoulders with and works in the world of mainstream psychiatry. He’s a deeply lovely man.

He assured me that I’m doing everything right and that he’s not met anyone else who can feel into the injuries like I do.

so there you go. I did, after all, see a psychiatrist, as you suggested.

your referral however was cruel and misguided because any other psychiatrist would have put into motion things that would kill me — this is not hyperbole. I have no idea how you can be so out of touch with the reality of what regularly goes down in psychiatry after having interacted with me for so many years but, there you go. You are.

Your incapacity to face the pain in others…to be with that pain both in yourself and others is a dangerous flaw. My work has always been about being able to meet myself and anyone. Anywhere. In any emotional or physical state. Anything else is not being fully awake. I have some way to go yet. Perhaps you do too.

I doubt you’ll consider what I say but I needed to say it.

my best to you that you too will find it in your heart to love the parts that hurt,

 

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