How in-charge are we really?

by Judy Cohen

Ready?

Fall in love. Right now.

Make yourself like a food you hate.

Intentionally send those panic attacks and depressions packing. Yes, you’ve probably tried to control feelings a few zillion times before, but surely this time will be the charm.

No?

Ok then, bring up ideas, answers and solutions to whatever issues are happening, right now. Make creativity happen.

Or, try not having thoughts. (For those lovely readers who think they don’t have thoughts anymore, read this sentence again, slowly. Unless you’re in a coma, in which case you get a pass.)

Or, make enlightenment come. Don’t dilly-dally; do it now. I mean, it does seem to come when it pleases, or not at all, or even to those, maybe even especially to those, who have never done any meditation, inquiry or satsang.

But still, go for it.

Or, make life come, whether it wants to or not.

Or eat kale, work out, don’t smoke, and cross fingers that death doesn’t feel like dropping by anyway.

See just how in-charge you really are.

Oh, humans. Such adorably arrogant little things.

So certain that health won’t be gained, jobs won’t be scored, money won’t come, enlightenment won’t show up, unless we take charge and make it all happen.

So certain that consequences are a result of our actions.

So certain of our power.

Never mind the complete lack of evidence of said power.

Because when we pay attention to what actually happens vs. what we want to happen, it becomes pretty clear…

That everything comes out of the blue.

Preferences come out of the blue, solutions come out of the blue, love comes out of the blue, life and death come out of the blue.

Thank goodness.

Because if we’re depending on ourselves and these minds to run things, well…
Look what we’re counting on to make things right, or to make things better.
I mean what are the odds that the mind… scared, mean, lying, doom-predicting mind… knows how, or even wants, to do that?

In fact, right about now it might even be alarmed or irritated by this particular Tickle-topic.

No worries though, mind; it’s OK. You’re OK. Plan and meditate and take action to your heart’s content.

Why not?

After all, the idea to Do Something! comes from out of the blue too.

It’s just that there’s a lot of peace in seeing that there is a bigger-than-us Blue.

And that it’s got ideas, it’s got solutions, it’s got, “Wow who could have seen THAT coming?”s.

Way more than we have.

Which means maybe we can take a break from the great big job of trying to run existence.

Who knows? We might discover that even on driver’s-seat vacay, things get done, feelings come and go, pounds come off. Anyway.

Though of course there’s no problem if we do continue to oppose existence and try to impose our will and direction on it.

After all, The Blue doesn’t need us to step aside or yield power. It does its thing whether we fight it or not.

Y’know, being the true boss and all.

Besides, we can’t control the belief that we have control, either.

It’s just that delusions of control actually control… nothing.

And feel simply awful.

So maybe we’ve had enough.

Or not.

Even that’s not up to us.

And does or doesn’t come, on its own time and direction,

From out of the blue.

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“All practices are like
Painting a rose so that
It will smell better.”
–wu’hsin

Related on this site: Choice and emotion: a short essay with some musing

Judy Cohen crawled (rather than rose) phoenix-like through depression and anxiety, by finding irreverent, untraditional and sometimes heretical ways to experience the greater-than-self-story. Nowadays she helps other folks find the same relief and expansion.

Find out more at  Irreverent Mind, sign up for Judy’s Mind Tickler and listen to Judy at Buddha at the Gas Pump