Tardive Dyskinesia: the Biofilm Connection

I am healing the tardive dyskinesia, which for me, as a result of sustained, long-term mindful attention is clearly an infestation of muliple micro-organisms acting in concert via a highly complex biofilm.

I feel this stuff somatically.

I’ve spent a over a decade in meditation with it and it has ceased to matter to me what anyone thinks about that capacity. It’s the only thing that has kept me alive. See: The somatic imperative

Sadly due to the gross lack of society and familial support I have frequently rather been dead. Still, I chose again and again, daily, to continue this bizarre Sisyphean journey as it was either do that or be institutionalized.

Dying as a result of the bodies’ gross challenges has been a real risk as well.

I’ve landed in ICU and had crisis at home that have repeatedly brought me to the brink of death.

I think that perhaps I’ve died more than once given the sorts of near death experiences I’ve had. This has been a full time job and then some. I’ve needed 24 hour care because the medical demands I needed to follow through with while being deathly ill has been beyond incomprehensible. Imagine giving yourself your own emergency care through almost daily crisis for 15 years. Yeah.

I never seriously considered suicide but often wished I had that courage for that. It’s also clear I have some other form of courage to continue in the face of such bleakness. I never judge someone who chooses to end their lives. I have distinct resources that has allowed for a level of safety through this journey that many people simply do not have. It’s clear to me that sometimes suicide is the rational choice.

We simply never know what someone else is faced with and thus have no right to make assumptions. See: Suicide prevention: thinking outside the box

To call this monster within me a biofilm is highly problematic since most people don’t know what biofilm is and those who do imagine that anything referred to as a film must not be particularly significant. Instead, in truth, it is “biofilm” of some sort that is at the root of all illness.

In my experience the TD colonizes every cell in the body, however and is far more complex than what anyone seems to understand.

In tardive dyskinesia, these systems of micro-organism architecture that are being organized becomes a snaking, moving, morphing entity that slowly takes over the entire body. It defies the laws of physics as we currently understand them.

Why do I say that TD is organizing the biofilm?

Because biofilm, in essense is at first simply the body putting toxic stuff aside in encapsulations of sort to protect organs in the body. As the body becomes more and more toxic it must respond by organizing these encapsulations. The “movement” disorder begins as the body’s desperate attempt to continue protecting the body.

The “toxicity” – a buzz word that is also frequently not understood – is environmental toxins, bacteria, virus, fungus and mold and most importantly pharmaceuticals that accumulate in the body as the intake of them becomes greater than what the body can naturally, as intended, detoxify on a daily basis.

“Antipsychotic” neuroleptic drugs are notorious for causing weight gain.

In the fat stores that develop, so does the biofilm. Biofilm will take a unique flavor in every person as the pre-existing microbiomes are going to be, from the start, endlessly diverse. Hence not everyone develops tardive dyskinesia. When people with particular constellations of micro-organisms are on the drugs long enough (and weight is by no means always a factor) the desperate body begins it’s “movement disorder,” so that it might protect itself. The variations of biofilm among those with TD are also seemingly endless as all cases are quite unique if also sometimes similar.

for a collection of the author’s work on TD visit: Tardive Dyskinesia

also related: Somatic imperative: collection

***

Support Everything Matters: Beyond Meds. Make a donation with PayPal or if you’d like to contribute to food as medicine on my table, a Kroger eGift card works too!