I am sharing some musings and responses to emails again. I collect bits and pieces I'm writing elsewhere and sharing here from time to time since people seem to enjoy that and have asked that I continue doing it. As before I've included links to old posts for more on similar topics below each little blurb. Here - from the last week:
I’m mostly not blogging anymore, it’s true, but I do still jot down thoughts from time to time. I’m sharing a bunch of those thoughts from the last couple of months. I’ve included links in some of them where you might find more similar thoughts explored and collected here on the website. They are a loose sort of documentation of my process as it continues. Be well. Remember, healing is not a linear process! Love to you all.
Messing up (again and again) is part of the healing process. Every time one realizes and processes a misstep is a victory in mindful awareness. (and yes, in this framework, we find that there really are no mistakes, but instead simply opportunities to become aware and thus grow and heal)
We need drugs to escape loneliness. We need drugs to tolerate company. We need drugs to feel and drugs to keep from feeling. We need drugs to fall asleep and drugs to get out of bed. Why? Our politicians, and moviemakers, and Evangelical ministers, and doctors, and professors are not asking that question of America. ...
When I was in the throes of my life's worst trials I was only occasionally able to deeply appreciate how I was growing and evolving. I'm now often grateful for my heinous experience - I've learned so many things. I also acutely remember what it was like to be in the dark. I do not assume that all people make it thru the dark..clearly suffering on this planet is great and widespread and we have no crystal balls. For these reasons I know that it's often cruel and not at all helpful to tell people that their trials are somehow for their own good. People need to find that reality (or not) on their own. We are all on different paths and we know not what another's is...
2025: Actually I do hide quite often these days. I have tardive dyskinesia (iatrogenic injury, infection and brain injury), often referred to as a "movement disorder." Calling it a movement disorder is extremely misleading. It is much more than the visible movements that people can see. It is often excruciatingly painful and it can be crippling. I sometimes cannot walk. I often cannot speak. I hide because people are cruel to those who look strange or odd. I have been tending to my body for a long time so there are times when it's not visible and that is when I venture into the world. At home I am often nonverbal and sometimes a fall risk. Night time is when the "movements" get really bad. Tardive dyskinesia can cause freezing as well as a lot of "movement." Anyway. The healng process continues and it's clearly moving in the right direction and everything I just said is also true.
We can no longer say, I am right and your are wrong... Can you see me? (short video and collection of excerpts, Marion Woodman)
"How can I get to know myself? Not by thinking, for thinking only reflects my conscious being, but by meditating. Meditation goes beyond the conscious mind into the unconscious. In meditation I can become aware of the ground of my being in matter, in life, in human consciousness. I can experience my solidarity with the universe, with the remotest star in outer space and with the minutest particle in the atom. I can experience my solidarity with every living thing, with the earth with these flowers and coconut trees, with the birds and squirrels, with every human being. I can get beyond all these outer forms of things in time and space and discover the Ground from which they all spring. I can know (...) the Origin, the Source, beyond being and non-being, the One 'without a second'. I can know the birth of all things from this Ground, their coming into being in the Word." … [click on title for the rest of the post]
"I want there to be a place in the world where people can engage in one another’s differences in a way that is redemptive, full of hope and possibility. Not this “In order to love you, I must make you something else”. That’s what domination is all about, that in order to be close to you, I must possess you, remake and recast you. " … [click on title to read and view more]
"Fear is contagious. You can catch it. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to say that they're scared for the fear to become real. Mo was terrified, and now Nick was too." ― Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book -- This is true fear is contagious. It's something worth deeply contemplating. We need not fear, however, because one can also free oneself by recognizing what has happened. Then the contagion comes to an end. Observation is a form of illumination. Fear is a shadow energy and it cannot survive illumination. In other words Franklin D. Roosevelt was right. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. … [click on title for the rest of the post]
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