The learning curve involved is no easy thing...this process not a pretty thing either...coming to clarity is a destructive process (so says Adyashanti, here as well). For whatever reason the brain injury created a situation so that the middle path, for me, is a razor's edge. Off to one side or another it hurts sometimes acutely. Plain and simple.
I have found I can't *choose* to "let go." With developing awareness through mindfulness, I have however, seen how attachment is a problem and things have radically shifted with that awareness. It's never been about choice for me -- as attractive and seductive as that idea might be, I've found that I have no choice at all. With awareness, and in surrender, however, I am able to act and feel with more and more equanimity.
I am a mad woman -- it's a phenomenal and lovely journey. Madness is the real sanity on a planet full of people who don't remember who and what we are. ...
I woke up in the middle of the night in meditation and contemplation, a bit horrified and humbled and also amazed with a sense of wondrousness at what I've been through in the last few days. About what I've discovered about myself and humanity in general, as my healing continues to unfold. I am wondrously human! Especially in my incapacity to have any control whatsoever over pretty much anything. It's often both humbling and frightening. ...
I’ve personally found that trying to change myself actually gets in the way of healing. I am (mostly) okay with acknowledging I am not in control. Sometimes life hands you a crisis where the only way out is coming to accept that reality. For me, what happened to me on psychiatric drugs was one of those situations. In that realization too, there is grace. With grace comes deep healing. ...
I get information and data about the living whole in every moment of my mindful existence. Sometimes I utilize systems, ideologies, religions, metaphor and/or myth, poetry, art of all kinds and science too. All manner of creativity and human productivity are expressions of the collective whole and thus a source of information and greater connection.... Continue Reading →
Our bodies are incredibly knowing animals that we've systematically learned to ignore, shut down and ultimately poison. Healing is about letting the wisdom of the body re-emerge. ... and "In a mad world, only the mad are sane." - Akira Kurosawa ... (reflections and links...click through for more)
Stop. Trying. To. Fix. Yourself. ~~ And then I realized that freedom was already here. Waiting. All I had to do was stop trying to fix myself. (we don't like it when others do it to us, so why do we do it to ourselves?)
Somatic mysticism: reframing "hypersensitivity". I can feel my cells doing their work quite often and I feel all manner of metabolic movement and I feel far more than I can even begin to really know from a biological standpoint. Still when I listen and pay attention I collect data, information to act on. With this info I continue to heal and become (consciously) one with all that is.
Again, below I share random musings from the last few weeks with links to the archives for further consideration or contemplation.
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