Update 2026: This post predates my learning more about the importance of slow, methodical withdrawal. I started withdrawing when the online scene was just learning what was possible! It's hard to believe how many voices are out there now. This was first posted in 2008. The internet was brand new , really and totally different than it is now, both. This site was where people went for withdrawal info. Here and a few forums and/or email groups that are mostly all gone now. Given that I didn't yet know how protracted my situation would be I was still looking for professionals to work with. I did find a few gems but ultimately learned that my journey would be one of learning to trust mself and listen to my body. Nature would be my primary guide. So what's happening in my journey lately?
The first incarnation of my blog….
When I first started blogging I was on blogspot and it was set on private and I deleted the whole thing before I went public. It was basically just a diary. What I didn't remember was that I copied the whole thing into a word document. It dates from February 2004 to June of 2006.... Continue Reading →
Random anger, random ramblings and incompleted thoughts
When I was at my acupuncturists the other day I basically collapsed on the table after pounding on her office door when I couldn't tolerate sitting in the office. I REALLY needed to lay down. I can sit in recliner type chairs but an upright chair I can last in only so long and I... Continue Reading →
I’m sick
In so many ways it's not even funny. This is going to be a rant. Because I fucking sick of being sick. I have loads and loads of faith that I will get better in time, I really do, but in the meantime I have lots of days and moments like today. I'm weak, tired,... Continue Reading →
The weight is dropping off
I always wondered what would happen once the neuroleptics (antipsychotics) were gone. Would my body, fat for so many years, just stay that way? I suspected yes. I somehow figured my body had simply learned to be fat. There are lots of studies on obesity that suggest the body wants to be the weight it... Continue Reading →
Celebration time
I was going to wait a week or two but I can't stand it. I'm OFF Risperdal. This is day two. The end of 20 years of the domination of my soul. Yes, neuroleptics are soul killing. And I was thinking I'd wait to tell just "to be sure." But the withdrawal has been so... Continue Reading →
Gianna’s healing adventure
There's been another shift in my well-being. It is often said that recovery is not linear and I'm proof of that. I've had a small downturn, but I don't expect it to last and right now I already still feel better than I did for the last year in any case. I had fifteen days... Continue Reading →
Syringes, cubic centimeters and millimeters
I want to tell the following story with humor, but I'm really not a humorist. Just know the humor is not lost to me even though it was anything but funny when I was dealing with it. I've been on .45 mg of Risperdal lately. That's down from .75 mg when I started working with... Continue Reading →
Arrival of the parental unit
Talk about bad timing. I got my period about two hours before my mom arrived. Granted, I knew I would be premenstrual and menstrual while she was here, what I didn't expect is that this is the worst period I've had since January. As most of you know if you've been reading my blog for... Continue Reading →
New Blog, amazing story
This young woman has a classic story of being unnecessarily drugged up, but she did escape!! The whole post telling her story is intense and painful and also beautiful and well worth reading. The part that had particular significance for me since I have yet to withdraw from Klonopin and I'm finding the same liberation... Continue Reading →

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