I’m reading a book by John Ruskan called Emotional Clearing. A kind reader suggested I read it and I’m finding it extremely helpful. It actually goes along quite nicely with what I’m doing with my therapist—almost like a companion reader. Some people might find the book objectionable if they don’t believe in reincarnation as the author does, but I’m finding it very easy to put aside the stuff that isn’t part of my world view and find a rich source of insight nonetheless.
On page 40 and 41 in his book Emotional Clearing, Ruskan writes on Projection:
Projection results from an accumulation of energy generated by suppression. It is an automatic, unconscious mechanism, which assigns subjective value and identity to persons or events in the “outside” world. Feelings that are suppressed are then experienced indirectly through persons or events. In projection, suppressed qualities are attributed to others, or those qualities are experienced as being caused by or coming from others. Others are usually criticized for the very qualities that have been projected onto them.
In projection, we try to avoid responsibility for certain feelings.
When we project we unconsciously assign responsibility for our feelings to other persons or situations, thinking that they “caused” our experience. We generally choose persons or situations skillfully, to appear justified to others and to ourselves. We fail to see that the other is only “bringing up” suppressed material from inside ourselves. They are not the cause of our feelings, although they may be considered to be the stimulus.
If that feeling or reaction was not already latent within us, we would not have responded in that particular way. Think of how differently various people react to the same situation. In projecting, we see through distorting filters or our own suppressed energies. We do not see reality as it is, and we always react inappropriately.
For example if you have suppressed anger, you will see others as responsible for “making” you angry because of what they do. You will blame them. You will also perceive others as being angry and directing their anger toward you when you are not angry. You will be likely to condemn them for their anger. If you have suppressed sexual feelings , you will perceive others as making uncalled-for sexual approaches toward you, and you may judge them harshly. If you have suppressed your feelings of rejection toward others, you will think others are rejecting you, and you will blame them.
I see myself doing various kinds of projection all the time lately. All the “suppressed energies” were kept under a tight lid while on the drugs. They are all flying forth now. It’s amazing though. In just the short time I’ve become aware that this is what I’m doing I’ve been able to change some of the dysfunctional behavior attached to it.
I’m reading this book and it’s got a method of integrating these energies—I have yet to learn more about that. I’m also using Jayme’s method of embracing pain found here—I do a sort of meditation with it. And then my therapy too, aids this process. I feel pretty lucky to have the tools I need to take care of this situation, which was really making it hard to associate with anyone. In the last three days things have lightened up. We can really make ourselves miserable and taking responsibility for our misery is liberating. I imagine this will be slow going and will be a long term process, but I have a lot of hope that I am moving in the right direction.