Quitting?

I’m tired. And I’m not nearly done with my journey…

It’s looking like I have late stage adrenal exhaustion. I get test results on Monday and if I have it, which I have little doubt about at this point as I’ve talked to several professionals as well as read a ton of literature, healing from it takes up to a couple of years. Since I have the added extenuating circumstances of drug withdrawal it’s possible to imagine that I will be recovering at least as long as it takes to withdraw (another couple of years?) and then another year or two post withdrawal.

I don’t feel like keeping on telling my (at this point, dreary) story and I’m sick of dwelling on the insanity of mental health care. The criminality of doctors who don’t listen as well as the criminality of big pharma controlling what the doctors who don’t listen spew.

I need a break.

I hope I can find it in me to take one. When I’m well enough to leave my bed—that is when the adrenal dysfunction isn’t making me dizzy and nauseas and unable to walk, I hope to contribute to my candidates campaign. I hope this person will be in the race until November—it will give me something to do for 6 months.

I will look for other things to keep me away from this computer too.

I will leave this blog up as a resource and I will continue to accept comments. I may post from time to time—adrenal fatigue makes PMS worse and in the interest of full disclosure I’m in the throws of PMS now—my mind could change about all this—it’s happened before.

I will return to writing and blogging when I feel better. When I succeed. When I recover. I intend to let everyone know I made it. Interest has been expressed in a book, but I don’t feel like even considering that until I actually have a completed story to tell. I do hope that a success story is in the works.

Thank you everyone. I may or may not be around to all your blogs.

If you’re new here a good map to the blog is going to the tabs at the top of the page. Check out the “About” tab for starters. This remains a useful blog whether it’s being updated or not in that it’s an aggregation of resources about psychiatric drug withdrawal. I hope people continue to find it useful. I may add to the resources on the about page from time to time. I hope to clean it up and make it more user friendly too.

Oh—could y’all do me a favor if you’re comfortable doing so—if you have me in your side bar—put the proper name of this blog there. Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal and Recovery. It’s really not a blog about bipolar. The URL came about years before I even started this incarnation of the blog and it’s just not what this blog is about. You are of course free to choose how you’d like to list it—I realize the real name is long and unwieldy but I would like it if people find it based on what it is about.

About Monica Cassani

Author/Editor Beyond Meds: Everything Matters

24 Responses

  1. Denise

    I’m going to miss you and your excellent interpretations of the mental illness system. best wishes in your continuing journey.

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  2. I’ll miss your posts, but you know what’s best for you right now, and your healing has to come first. Be well, and I wish you the best!

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  3. missisyphus

    i hope to still see you around here…you’re an important contributor to the community. you’ve been an inspiration and support for me and so many.

    but, i hope you can embrace this beautiful weather…it is so much easier to deal…when it’s gorgeous outside.

    so enjoy the spring and the summer, do what you need for you, but don’t become a stranger.

    suzanne

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  4. Just wanted to say I’ve been reading your blog for several weeks now and have learned much. Wishing you a good deep rest, for as long as you need, and emergence back here when the time is right.

    All best, Diane

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  5. Sara

    I totally understand your decision and hope it’s a good step in your continuing journey. It could well be a good sign to turn your focus outward to a campaign and away from the seductive computer screen and a lot of self contemplation as useful as it’s been for yourself and others. The resources you have compiled are amazing. Gosh, it’s worrisome though that so many blogs that espouse an alternative point of view seem to be imploding. I think it’s exhausting to be trying to educate masses that don’t seem to want to be educated — I agree with that. And it’s a tough topic to return to day after day. I hope new voices will emerge. I wish you the very best of luck in your journey. Even the prospect of a few more years is still only a fraction of the many years of life you hopefully have ahead of you. Take care now.

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  6. Dear Gianna,

    You’ve done quite a lot in a very short time writing here that has given so much information it’s amazing! Your journey is about you, and that is where you need to focus right now. I’m with you in spirit! and thanks for sharing your life here.

    Stephany

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  7. Gianna,

    Feel a loss for words…..

    You’ve helped a lot of people, and I understand your need for a break.

    I know that you’ll find your way through this adrenal fatigue – you always do.

    You will be missed – I am grateful for everything you’ve done, and for all of the support.

    Your friend,
    Duane

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  8. deborah

    Dear, dear Gianna,

    Thank you so much for your blog – all the wisdom, information, and just – guts that you have shown to come as far as you have.

    Best wishes for healing and recovery. May you find an alternative to the computer that replenishes you on the next leg of your journy.

    I’ll miss you,
    Deborah

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  9. Gianna,

    I’ve changed the name of your blog on my site.

    I, too, can’t express how sad I am that you’ll be taking this much needed hiatus. But I understand why it’s necessary. You’ll be missed in the blogosphere and I look forward to when you pick up the reins again. Hopefully, you’ll be checking your e-mail so I can contact you from time to time and see how you’re doing.

    With great affection,
    Marissa

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  10. Roman

    Take a break sweetheart. But we have to know that you’re o.k. once in a while. O.K.? Just say hi now and then… nothing more 🙂 Good luck!

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  11. Aurora

    One of my own adrenal recovery slogans has been “many ideas, few projects.” It’s taken a lot to let go of the majority of what I’d love to do and stick to a tired human list. But it’s become very satisfying. As someone who is constantly invited to be part of fascinating things (I’ve been a fairly public person until my body made me stop,) and has had to keep my energy close to home, I wholeheartedly applaud your plan to rest. Thank you for this marvelous piece of work. When you lay something wonderful down, often other people figure out how to pick it up.

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  12. Sloopy Cowbell

    Oh heck!

    The internet is going to be a much poorer place without you, Gianna:-(

    We’re all going to miss you. You’re quite a celebrity!

    Here’s hoping the test results are a pleasant surprise.

    Very glad you’ve got other pursuits to follow. Hope your candidate makes it through – even if it looks like a Hobson’s Choice!

    The blog must have been intense work for you. It would be a shame to let it fade away altogether though.

    If nothing else, I hope you can give us a wave from time to time!

    Missing you already!

    Yours,
    Sloopy!

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  13. Val

    [WARNING: THIS IS A JOKE]
    Re: adrenal fatigue — I hear they have good drugs for that!
    Seriously, though, take care of yourself: one of the things your body cannot function w/out is cortisol!
    I will still be coming back as I have loads of your archives to read through; thanks for all your hard work.
    With love & best wishes,
    Val

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  14. Ana Lima

    My dear new friend,
    You have to take care of yourself. I just found out your Blog and I’m sure I have a lot of good information to read.
    It’s time to rest and do new activities. It’s too overwhelming to fight all this corrupted people.
    I wish you’ll recover soon and start doing nice things. You deserve living away from the computer.
    I’m sure you are an inspiration for other people start their part of the work.
    You new friend Ana

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  15. Gianna,
    As you know, I decided to stop writing my blog as well (I know you’re on hiatus and not stopping), because I want to write about other subjects. But once people started emailing me, and suggesting they would read me–no matter what the subject–I decided that I’m going to continue blogging, but find a new way to write about bipolar issues and more. With the thought of it on the horizon, I feel renewed.

    Sorry to hear about the adrenal exhaustion. Know that my thoughts are with you!

    Susan
    P.S. I will change the name of your blog in my blogroll.

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