A brief note to my readers…

*this remains in effect as I continue to heal. It’s a long process and I’m still largely homebound and need a lot of rest. For an update on what it’s like see: This is what it’s like  9/2012

This post was updated and edited in April of 2013

If you’re unfamiliar with my history you can read the story on RXisk, Dr. David Healy’s website: Monica’s story: the aftermath of polypsychopharmacology

I’m reposting this with some updated edits as people still often try to communicate with me and I’m still not able to extend myself in that way to everyone who reads my blog and wants to share. I’m sorry.

I turned off comments and also made email contact with me difficult a few years ago as I got too sick to continue at the pace I was going. I continue to need this time to heal.

Some of you still manage to write me through various means. I want you to know that your email means a lot to me. I’m sorry I can no longer respond to all of you.

Some of your notes are loving notes of support which are greatly appreciated.

Others are looking for help. If you need help, please look at this post on how to find online support. If you have general questions about psychiatric drug withdrawal and/or caring for yourself by means of alternatives to psychiatry either before, during or after having taken psych drugs please browse the drop-down menus at the top of the page. Put your cursor over the headings and there is access to a whole lot of information.

The last sort of mail and comments I used to get and occasionally still get are unsupportive or downright hateful mail. This is a internet wide phenomena and anyone who has spent time in ANY active comment section anywhere has some idea what it’s like. This blogger wrote a piece about what it’s like to be the target of such comments.  The title of that blog post is misleading…keep reading, once you click through.

It’s ugly and energy zapping even when one is well to receive such mail and attention (since some of these folks get creative about how they like to harass). When one is very unwell, it is simply the last straw. I have no interest in being subject to people’s abuse anymore.  The ugly mail is always a tiny percent of mail, but it certainly works its charm.

At this point in time I do not see myself returning to any sort of intensive public online life. I’ve given 1000s of hours of my energy and work to this blog and associated business from behind a computer screen. I really hope to use my passions and energies in a different way in the future.

So to the person who recently took the time to write and tell me that I CHOOSE to not respond to email as though it was an awful thing? You’re quite right. I CHOOSE to no longer work 80 hours plus per week when I’m so sick I can’t leave my house at will. That is how many hours it took me to moderate comments and respond to all my email AND to publish my blog.

So, yeah, I choose to give myself time to heal and I do what I can when and if I feel like it on the blog. I still greatly value sharing information that might help others. I still network with a whole lot of people too. But at this point it’s people I have developed relationships with — friends, family, some colleagues and fellow iatrogenetically sick comrades. (honestly, I really couldn’t keep up with what I used to keep up with even if I wanted to now! so choice is rather an abstract consideration here)

If I get well I hope to work in the domain of physical human beings — a sentiment that is so normal for most, but for me it’s been years now that I can’t engage that way.  So now I occasionally post my thoughts or an article on this blog until I’m well enough to actually leave my house even though I said I was moving on because well…my body ain’t really ready to move on even if I am psychologically. Yeah, I’m ready to be well. The body has its own timer unfortunately.

I also can no longer accept unsolicited submissions. Thank you.

10/2012 experimenting with a bit more accessibility: New: Beyond Meds Facebook page  (on facebook one can leave comments on posts — private messaging is disabled and it’s not possible to post to the wall)