How our conditioning affects our relationships

When our partner does something that doesn't comply with our conditioning, we feel unhappy because we want our conditioning complied with. We think that our partner doesn't love us or isn't a good person for not complying with our conditioning. But the reason most people don't comply with our conditioning is that they have conditioning that's different from ours. When our loved ones don't comply with our conditioning, we may feel unhappy, angry, sad, resentful, and even afraid. Did that person make us unhappy? Or did we make ourselves unhappy by assuming that person should comply with our conditioning? Who says someone should comply with our conditioning? Our conditioning says so. … [click on title for the rest of the post]

A recovery from addiction (eating disorders and cocaine)

We don’t offer a quick fix. That is what many of us were trying to do when we first distracted ourselves from unpleasant mental states or experiences. We self medicated, gave ourselves misguided kindness and compassion, to help take care of difficult things happening in our lives. And why not ? You may ask. Well quick fixes, are like band aids that fall off minutes later. Quick fixes perpetuate the vicious cycle of addiction. Why? Because while we may be momentarily relieved from our suffering, guarantee the unpleasant mental states we have been avoiding, will emerge again. Guarantee the craving for a better experience, or more pleasant mental states will emerge again. And when they do we will be reaching for that same or similar quick fix. … [click on title for the rest of the post]

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