From inside out to outside in…that’s what healing is doing

From inside out to outside in…that’s what healing is doing.
Rewiring for dealing with reality starting from within rather than without.
When gut lining and brain barrier is compromised there is only porousness…it is reflected in the psyche manifesting as poor boundaries…

it was the  biofilm acting as mucosa and gut lining that was saving and killing me both…an artificial boundary of the compromised being – switching from biofilm to newly grown mucosa lining is an act of great destruction and creation both


This is what is happening. I’ve never had a sense of self. That’s the part that gets labeled “mentally ill.” I woke up anyway.
Healing involves doing the opposite of what Buddhism (generally) teaches. It means coming back into the body and integrating the self from no-self rather than the other way around. It is not about losing the self because that self never was…in that way we are both ahead of “normies” and not too…The biggest problem is normies don’t know how to help us and are in fact dangerous to us…


I’ve never wanted to preach to the choir. Really I have no interest in preaching. Writing is more exorcism than anything else. Sometimes it also happens to be helpful to others.


When people trigger us they may not be dangerous/nasty/whatever – it may simply mean that we are afraid…When we are fearless we see that no one is inherently dangerous/nasty/violent whatever…


Like it or not, it’s only in my woundedness that I know the things I know. In the process of deep acceptance of this clarity comes.


The body and the body’s wisdom has been shunned and abused for decades now. SHE speaks through the body and she speaks through stories, metaphor, science, philosophy and my any means necessary…ancient and modern. SHE has as many languages as there are human beings and if we can be flexible we can hear her in every human being alive right now. And even if we are largely in touch with our own bodies relative to the larger human family, inasmuch as we do not hear her, see her, feel her, right now, in everybody we encounter we are not awake.


*it is potentially dangerous to come off medications without careful planning. Please be sure to be well educated before undertaking any sort of discontinuation of medications. If your MD agrees to help you do so, do not assume they know how to do it well even if they claim to have experience. They are generally not trained in discontinuation and may not know how to recognize withdrawal issues. A lot of withdrawal issues are misdiagnosed to be psychiatric problems. This is why it’s good to educate oneself and find a doctor who is willing to learn with you as your partner in care.  Really all doctors should always be willing to do this as we are all individuals and need to be treated as such. See: Psychiatric drug withdrawal and protracted withdrawal syndrome round-up

It’s become clear to me that whenever it’s possible that it’s helpful for folks who’ve not begun withdrawal and have the time to consider a carefully thought out plan to attempt to bring greater well-being to your body before starting the withdrawal. That means learning how to profoundly nourish your body/mind and spirit prior to beginning a withdrawal. For suggestions on how to go about doing that check the drop-down menus on this blog for ideas. Anything that helps you learn how to live well can be part of your plan. That plan will look different for everyone as we learn to follow our hearts and find our own unique paths in the world. Things to begin considering are diet, exercise and movement, meditation/contemplation etc. Paying attention to all these things as you do them helps too. The body will start letting us know what it needs as we learn to pay attention. 

For a multitude of ideas about how to create a life filled with safe alternatives to psychiatric drugs visit the drop-down menus at the top of this page. 

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2 thoughts on “From inside out to outside in…that’s what healing is doing

  1. You are still not healed 7-8 years later ?
    Its amazing on benzobuddies some people said you were healed living life.
    Seems like that benzo community is full of liar everywhere


    1. . Healing dont end mostly for people who tapered too fast those drugs. I am 35 month off only 29 years old after less than 2 years taking benzo and never recovered 3 years off after a failed taper and kindling. Am severly brain damage not functional with severe insomnia that never improved in 3 years, depersonalisation, pots syndrome, akathisia, severe anxiety inability to handle stress, feeling going insane still 3 year later. Am not sure healing happen for everyone some people never heal that shit


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