As I mentioned a week ago today I started treating various imbalances that were detected with blood work, that my nutritional/orthomolecular psychiatrist recommended. One of the treatments, she cautioned, I might not tolerate, as it sometime can aggravate one sensitive to mania. While I am by no means manic, I’ve now had several terribly uncomfortable days of strange, unpleasant, horrible energy that seems to want to escape, but can’t. I’ve also had headaches and anxiety attacks. The supplement was SAMe, a combination of a couple of amino acids, being used to treat, in my case, high histamine.
This is the second time I’ve had bad reactions to amino acids. Any excitatory amino acids can cause problems with someone predisposed to manic symptoms. And so now, I don’t ever want to take anything excitatory again. It’s been hell and it is too damn similar to when I had traditional psychiatrists callously try all sorts of shit and not give a damn about how bad they made me feel. The first time I figured it out in the course of a day and it was my own experimentation. This time it took longer to figure out I was suffering from side effects –maybe because I was so hopeful that it would help things out. Or, because I started it while still premenstrual and I always feel like shit during that time anyway.
I’m angry with myself for letting myself go down a road that seems no different than what I was doing before I started the withdrawals. And maybe I just need to be patient and let the withdrawals pass before I start treating myself with potentially psychoactive substances (which amino acids are.)
There is an alternative to SAMe that is supposed to be much more gentle. An amino acid that is not excitatory that eventually changes into SAMe in the body. I’ve ordered some, but I am not thrilled to try it. I may simply take a while.
I can still remain hopeful the the zinc/copper ratio will be corrected and that my PMS, as a result, will be taken care of as the doctor emphatically asserted. Zinc at least has no potential side effects. Frankly I’m skeptical, but I’m not ruling it out. I may just end up pleasantly surprised.
So, in closing, I can say, once again, that those of us diagnosed with bipolar should be very careful with excitatory amino acids. You know, I feel kind of stupid for being willing to try it. I wasn’t suffering from depression which is what SAMe usually treats and I was warned I might have a bad effect. I’m really doing very well with all my symptoms (minus the PMS/PMDD) clearly being withdrawal symptoms. Sometimes I think I just need to accept my reality. And mine isn’t perfect right now. A bit of radical acceptance is called for right now.