My life has been difficult lately. It’s clear now that my problem has always been hormonal. This month I’ve already ovulated again. It seems like it’s only been a few days. (I ovulated 3 days early to make matters worse and I had hormonal problems three days into my period–that means I had about 8 days of no symptoms–Jesus–that’s just not right!)
I’ve put off tapering. I don’t know when I’ll be able to start again. I’m feeling at a loss.
One of the women I consult with on a withdrawal board who is an expert in nutrition and natural medicine has offered to read a hormone panel for me. Since my holistic psychiatrist failed me miserably on the hormonal front, I’m going to try this–but first I need to get my GP to order the lab work. I’m hoping this will save me a trip to the Mayo Clinic which is out of state.
I feel like my life is on hold and this is why I’m not writing often. I don’t feel like being exhibitionistic about the misery in my life, so just know I’m struggling. Right now–the truth is I may be being paranoid about my PMS this month. Last month was the worst I can remember. It was traumatic, but that doesn’t mean it will be like that again this month. So if I get through this month more easily perhaps a burden will lift and I’ll go back to my much more optimistic self. I did have a few good days there–it’s just I ovulated early and that pisses me off and demoralizes me.
I’ll be in touch. Sorry about the state of this blog. I hope I’ll be back to writing passionate original pieces again soon.