More on my brother with cancer

I was going to write this post on the plane back to California, but I’m thinking I’m going to be too exhausted and anxious to manage to write and then once in California I’m just not sure when I’ll be on the computer again, though I am taking my laptop.

So–just so you know–I don’t know how long I will be offline.

My brother is finally imminent. Yesterday I called him at home. When the nanny answered the phone she very hesitatingly said, “Well, you brother isn’t exactly coherent at the moment.” Alarmed I asked what was going on. A close family friend was with him and I learned he had come home from a routine doctor’s visit and on the way home he became disoriented and it had now been a few hours and he was still incoherent.

I spoke to him for about ten minutes. It was like we were speaking two different languages though all the words were in English.

I began frantically making calls. It turns out he has been declining for about two weeks and no one bothered to tell me. I talked to my brother about a week ago and we actually had one of the best conversations we’ve had in months. It was a “normal” conversation. It was lighthearted and the scope of it covered many topics. I got off the phone that day in a good mood. My brother sounded good.

In any case, he was apparently going downhill physically even if his mood seemed good that day.

Anyway by last night he had a fever and it spiked high and he was brought to the emergency room. He’s septic. He may only have 2 days. I couldn’t fly out today, but I am flying out tomorrow. We will arrive at 7 pm and can be at the hospital by 9 pm. I have to hope he will still be alive when I get there.

8 thoughts on “More on my brother with cancer

  1. Gianna,
    There are not words for this, you and I know this. I will keep you in my thoughts every day until you write here again. I understand, and I am with you.-Stephany


  2. all my heart to you and your brother. he’ll know you are there. if he had wanted you to know and to be there with him sooner, he would have told you last week. he sounds like a good man. i wish a serene departure to him and a serene goodbye to you.

    i’m so sorry, gianna, this had to come at a time when you are already low. please count on my support and friendship, too.


  3. How wonderful you are able to fly out to see him. He’ll know you’re there. I wish the best under such trying circumstances. My thoughts are with you, Gianna. Be sure to continue with the self-care even when it seems unimportant. I’m so sorry… Lots of love from me.


  4. I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your brother. May his passing be as easy as possible in the circumstances and may you see him before he goes.

    I wish I had words that would heal, but I don’t. Take good care of you and give yourself all the time in the world.


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