Oddly enough I’m doing okay with the withdrawals. Today was the one month anniversary of my brothers death. My only symptom today was grief–even my PMS seems to be under control. I can’t say I experienced anything that could be clearly identified with withdrawal–oh–except insomnia last night. I’m tired as all get out.

The pain of loss still burns. I feel it in my chest, my heart. It’s like it’s on fire but it’s embers burning low and mean.

2 thoughts on “Grief

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  1. gianna, it’s so hard. It hurts so much. Nobody handles death well is what someone said to me many years ago upon my first “real” death, the first one where I was old enough and close enough to really get it. I was young and I thought other people had answers on how to handle death/loss, that there other people knew the right thing to do and to say and were just somehow “skilled” in handling death. Nobody is skilled at handling it of course and no one gets “good at” handling death. But how I wish what I thought when I was young were true and I could tell you some magic formula that would make this all go fast and easy and painless….

  2. yikes. one month. embers burning low and mean: beautiful. if you can produce beautiful words out of terrible grief, that’s a silver lining right there. coraggio.

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