Perhaps I won’t jinx myself….

If I say that I am ever so slowly inching towards stability after almost 3 months of unstable withdrawal hell. I’ve slept several days now. And the hostility that had become my trademark is ebbing away and has been for over a week. I am not nasty and awful to my husband anymore and we spent several days together a few days ago and got along really well—I felt wonderfully happy being with him and in my home—even out in the country. The little “cottage” I am in in town is really nothing more than a shack. I didn’t want to come back to town but I had to for my therapy, neurofeedback and yoga….all my wellness appointments—I still wouldn’t be able to drive here 4 days a week.

We are making plans to buy a house in town. Our house in the country has been appraised and even with the market crash it is worth slightly more than double what we paid for it and it’s all paid off so it will be a nice down payment on a house in town. Houses in town cost easily twice that of our house and we want to get a larger house as the one we have now is only 750 square feet and since we both work at home we are never outside of hearing distance from the other—it gets difficult sometimes to be underfoot all the time. We want to both have our own offices plus our bedroom and a nice living space.

We hope to get a house that has a rental unit so that the renters can pay our mortgage. This feels like a really good idea to me because we have no retirement. Neither myself nor my husband have had traditional careers and we don’t have retirement saved up. A rental unit will supply us with an income in old age. Or a place where someone who can take care of us can live. It feels nice and secure to have a rental unit and it will allow us to afford a much nicer house in a nicer neighborhood. I’m excited.

We have to wait about 4 months before we qualify for a mortgage as my husbands job is new and he needs to have had it for 6 months. We may rent an apartment for both of us here in town so that we can make some minor improvements on our house before putting it on the market and so that we can be living together again sooner.

I will say no more, because really, I don’t want to jinx myself.

8 thoughts on “Perhaps I won’t jinx myself….

  1. Great to hear your good tidings, Gianna!

    Time is a wonderful healer! Throw in a good dose of patience, and there’s a sure-fire recipe for success!

    Time is proving the best remedy for me, too.

    Some three months ago, my Zyprexa dosage was reduced slightly. Within a week or two, I began to experience severe abnormal involuntary movements throughout my body.

    I understand this is tardive dyskineisa, a potentially irreversible disorder that is caused by neuroleptics, both typical and atypical, including Zyprexa, Risperdal, Seroquel, Geodon and Abilify.

    Paradoxically, the neuroleptics can mask the symptoms of tardive dyskinesia, so the disorder isn’t apparent until you stop taking neuroleptics or you reduce the dosage you take of them.

    There is a serious caveat in there: you might not realise the drug damage being caused to you until it’s too late.

    Well, three months later, and the muscle tics, jerks and spasms are fading slightly. I hope and pray that the healing continues.

    On that note, I was disappointed to find that two messages I had left on “Hymes” blog, addressed to another sufferer of tardive dyskinesia, were removed without explanation.

    Since that sufferer spoke of their wish to withdraw from neuroleptics, I recommended this blog. I hope he or she has made it here.



  2. glad to hear things are getting _ _ _ _ _ _!

    you’re a country girl too! i can understand the commute thing and trying to get to the professionals you need to work with…that’s just not the kind of stuff you find on the back roads! but it’s all good. it does get a little harder to do all the work, you’re lucky you have a husband. and moving in town with a rental would be a great situation. not having traditional jobs can be great, but not having 401ks and all, maybe wasn’t the stuff we were really thinking or worrying about when we were younger. we probably couldn’t have imagined how life might change and health conditions come flooding in etc. but no one can be more adaptable than someone who’s lived in the country and dealt with mental health issues and all that wonderful….that comes with it! it sounds like a smart move.

    it’s so good to hear good things and here’s sending you many positive thoughts, that spring will lift your spirits and help you stay in a good place.



  3. What great news!

    The only thing better than the wonderful posts you put up on such subjects as neuroplasticity and full recovery are these – ones that show you are on your way.

    In my prayers – always.

    Your friend,



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