A little vignette (contains SPOILER about the film SIDE-EFFECTS)

side effectsI went to the movies yesterday. It was the first time I was able to contemplate, let alone actually go, to the movies in over 5 years. I’ve not been able to sit up for 2 hours straight until relatively recently and certainly couldn’t deal the chaos, noise and people. That sort of stimulation has been impossible for a long time due to the autonomic nervous system damage that is common among those with severe withdrawal syndromes. I have been ill for a long time. Finally doing something that has been impossible for so long felt great.

Anyway…I went yesterday. I brought earplugs and had to leave the theatre during the assault of noise while the trailers played (sci fi and actions films are LOUD…I mean CRAZY loud…), but once the film started I was okay.

I left after about half way through the film because I was very exhausted from all the stimulation but it still felt like a victory. Everything about the trip felt like I was visiting a foreign land…what an adventure! Really. There is often a sense of culture shock as I regain capacities. 

Part of the reason I left the film was because it was BORING. Perhaps had I been engaged in something I thought was really good that energy might have carried me through.

I went to see Side Effects. Up to half way through I just felt like I was watching my life. I deal with the horrors of psychiatric care daily. I read about them, people write to me about them and I have had to recover from my own personal hell as a result of grave and serious injury caused by psych drugs. The film didn’t seem even remotely fictionalized when I left it half-way through. Then when I got home I found out it was most likely a very good thing I didn’t watch the whole thing. The movie has a nasty twist and is a slap on the face to all those injured by pHARMa. In the end of this film pharma is the victim of people who conspire to make money by faking side-effects. I guess it gets even more complicated than that. Here Alison Bass comments on the film. She is the author of the book by the same name Side Effects though it’s about real life horror.

Ah, this is an UPATE, hadn’t seen David Healy’s piece. Goes into much more detail and includes the information about the real-life horror that are SSRIs:  Not so Black: Ablixa and Homicidal Side Effects

Yeah, I’m glad I didn’t watch that shit. I left only feeling disappointed that a film by Steven Soderbergh was incredibly boring. That surprised me. I’m glad I was spared the rage of watching the rest of it.

And so I just celebrate having made a trip to the theatre and watching most of the film and being pretty much OKAY. That is a big deal!

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