I just very carefully went through the album mentioned in the post below, page by page and looked long and hard at every picture of my beloved brother. No more pain at this moment, just a dull ache and a profound gratitude for having had him in my life.
The other day when I looked at it I flipped through it and couldn’t handle it.
Now I spent a good hour looking at him and our family growing up together and then him and his family and kids and all of us as adults at college graduations and weddings and holidays and all I felt was a deep abiding love.
That love will never die.
I love you Robert. Peace to you wherever you are.
Sometimes it feels good to feel. Right now it feels good.
My mom had just finished telling me to put the book away and not look at it as I cried to her my pain. I’m glad I didn’t listen to her.
Dear Gianna,
Isn’t it amazing how some days our grief overwhelms us, and on other days we just feel grateful that we could have someone in our life whom we loved so very much? Sounds like today was bittersweet. Thinking of you and hoping you remain well!
Susan
*hugs* to you, Gianna.
I was so happy to read that Gianna. Sounds like a beautiful, peaceful moment in your grieving process.
I think that’s a wonderful thing your sister did although it might have felt a bit abrupt when you received it. Still I am certain you will come to treasure this album and look at it when you want to remember and savor that bond you had with your brother. It’s important to treasure these relationships we’ve had even when they end tragically and needlessly. I truly believe that Love never dies and it is one of the things that keeps us moving forward with our lives in the face of some pretty horrific things. Continued peace and joy to you in these small moments.